Road Rules Soul Calibur
by Lady Manson
Summary: The Soul Calibur Cast trapped in a shady reality show... With no concent and no idea on what's going on. Only thing is they are in the Hands of a Shadowy Shadow (Revision of a past fic... No bashing)
1. Insane Cherry Blossoms

Manson: SO… From the top

Choir of hot guys singing: She doesn't Own it, she doesn't own it… Soul Calibur and that's just sad

Manson: ::Weeps:: On with the show… ::: Blows her nose:::

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Haunted Cherry Blossoms

"So… why do I have to do it again?" Talim asked Raphael that combed his Frenchie goatee as if it was the most intellectual thing to do.

"Because my dear Talim… He likes you…. He will be happy of seeing you…" Raphael said while the rest of the souls plainly looked at him wide eyed.

"Are you sure…? I thought he hated everyone and specially me…" Talim said with some disbelief as she was pushed towards the door of the huge place.

"Nonsense dear child…. He loves you… we are starting to think he might treat you that way because he kind of sees you as a woman…. You know what I mean… right?" Raphael said as he tapped Talim's behind in an encouraging way. The girl blushed deeply. Ivy leaned on the threshold as if she was holding to her sanity and not breaking into the hell of a laughing attack.

"Really?" The innocent Teen asked, someone saw her as a woman… and from all people it had to be HIM…. Yay for Talim.

"Oui. Oui… I heard him myself… he has a picture of you on his locker… Now alle Alle…Go fetch him Bombshell…" And with that Talim nodded and ran inside the huge place to find the one the rest of the souls were waiting for.

"You know he despises her, right?" Maxi said as he pulled out his Cover Girl mirror and blew a few kisses to his Oh so sexy dandy face.

"Oui… she shouldn't be so gullible…" The Frenchman said with a macabre laugh that had a French accent and sounded plainly weird, how a laugher can have an accent… don't ask me… I only write this thing.

Talim walked through the dark hallways with her only weapon being the necklace she held dearly and fiercely on her hand.

"Here Blondie, Blondie, Blondie…" She called and could hear the echo of her voice in the hallway. Finding herself in the base of a staircase she began climbing slowly.

"Why couldn't Chia-chan come with me? This is really scary….- In the entrance Xianghua blew her nails.-How can he live here?" Talim asked as she heard a noise behind her but saw nothing.

"Ok Talim… breathe… you are paranoid…. You are paranoid and the frenchie saw your asshole face…. Why me?" In the entrance Rafael winks at Astaroth plainly to freak him out achieving his goal almost instantaneously, because he freaked out and hid behind Ivy if it is entirely possible.

"Maybe after this… he, he… I am scared now….- she said as she once again heard the noise and ran up the stairs- When you walk away you don't hear me say…" Talim sang lightly the song from Kingdom Hearts, trying to keep her mind off the nasty noise that was scaring her to the bones.

"Maybe this is some kind of fraternity initiation…. And they will like me now… they accepted Yun-chan easily… why can't they accept me?- Once again that crappy noise that seemed like a pool ball rolling down the staircase filled the hallway.- Kyaaa…. I swear if I see that damn blonde right now I will squeeze the skittles out of him…"She said as she kept walking and walking, turning left and right in the huge house.

"Why can't he live in an apartment… NO… he has to live in a creepy castle like house…. Ivy-sama… why couldn't you come with me?- In the entrance Ivy asked. "She surely is delaying a lot… You don't think she is dead, right?"- Mr. Blonde Dude… where are you?" Talim asked as she heard now a voice.

"Now…" The soft echo said on her ears. She ran like a freak through the hallways storming inside the first room she saw, being that a training room and right in the middle of it our beloved sociopath was training with one of his swords while listening to the tunes on his sound system. Talim almost drooled; the guy was only wearing those Adidas jogging pants that looked so good on anyone with the body to wear them. He dropped the sword with the sight of the teen.

"Talim?" He asked as she looked at him and pushed her jaw upwards to close her mouth.

"Mr. Siegfried-san… we… we… were looking for you…" She said as she looked at him. Maybe everyone was wrong and he hated her guts and was going to eat her with a bowl of cheerios the next morning. Cheerios and sliced Talims, a delicacy.

"We?" He asked as he walked to the stereo and turned it off.

"The guys and me… we were called on a trip to somewhere and the boss couldn't find you… so he sent us… Please don't kill me…" She said squeezing her necklace tighter. Siegfried smiled widely… that kid was scared to her bones.

"Kill you? Why would I?" He asked walking to a chair and grabbing a sleeveless shirt so the girl stopped scanning his abs.

"Because… you hate me…" She said in a squeaky voice tone.

"I don't hate you… I am just an asshole and it works for me…" He said making Talim smile.

"Right you are…" She said looking at him.

"Excuse me?" He asked walking to her. She sighed and looked scared at him.

"No… nothing, that we better leave because we are being requested in the entrance of your haunted castle…" Talim said as she walked out and Siegfried beside her. He looked at the girl a little bewildered

"Haunted?" He asked as they walked through a corridor and suddenly there was a blackout. Talim simply glued herself to Siegfried like a Garfield Plushy to a window.

"Um… Talim…. I need that arm…" Siegfried said as he seemed to sound like his usual acid and sarcastic self.

"I don't mind… you can use it… This place is haunted…. Keep me safe Mr. Blonde," Talim said as she heard a sigh from the other one and then he started walking. He was more than sure she was enjoying being carried around and he wasn't pleased at all.

"My house is not haunted…." He said as he took a left in the dark corridor.

"Now…. Now… ow…. w…" Once again was heard through the hallway.

"Stop that Talim… I am trying to remember which hallway takes me to my room… I need a flashlight…" Siegfried said as he rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Talim was starting to be annoying.

"It wasn't me, Siegfried-sama…" She said as she squeezed tighter the muscular arm. That's why he didn't like kids.

"Whatever… now… which way was it… three times right and one left up the stairs? Or was it… Three times left down the stairs…? Ficken…." He said as Talim didn't move a muscle to let him go.

"Mwahahahahahahaha…." Echoed on the hallway.

"Kyaaaa…. –Talim yelled and squeezed his arm tighter.- It wasn't me Siegfried-sama… forget the flashlight and let's go out of here…" To her surprise she felt his hand on her back.

"Holly fuck! What the hell was that?" Siegfried asked and there was that noise of steps or balls rolling down again.

"I don't know and don't want to find out…I told you this place was haunted…" Talim said as it seemed she was going to cry.

"Now… Now… ow… w…." The echoing whisper continued.

"You know what? I am scared like shit and therefore will pull you like a kite behind me and will run like a bitch to the outside… I am buying an apartment…": Siegfried said as he grabbed Talim's arms and putting her on his back he started blindingly running through the hallways.

"Now… now …. Ow… w…" Continued behind them.

"Run Siegfried Run…" Talim encouraged while holding on to him.

"Kid… you are strangling me… I can't breathe…" He said as he slipped and fell.

"Now… now… ow… w…"The echo continued and it seemed it was close, Siegfried noticed the huge windows and knew he was in the main office of his house. Standing up he walked to his desk, grabbed a flashlight and taking Talim again he started running to the main entrance.

"Now… now… ow… w…" Continued behind him. And he tried to look back.

"Siegfried-sama… WATCH OUT!" Talim yelled as she saw him run and trip with the edge of the house's second story balcony, falling over it. As he fell he took Talim from his back and landed on it, she fell on his chest.

"You Ok, baby girl?" He asked almost voiceless. She thought the ghost killed him.

"Yes, Siegfried-sama…. Talk to me please…" She said moving him.

"Can… you… make me… a big favor, Dear?" He asked as he barely moved. Now the guy was going to die and he was the only one that saw her as a woman.

"Anything Siegfried-sama…" Said the desperate teen.

"Would you… kindly… get off me….? You are crushing my balls with your knee,,,, OW!" Talim quickly moved and made it worse by pressing her knee harder on his… Sieggy Scepter… Siegfried proceeded to weep like a child.

"Fuck… God Damn it… It hurts…. Oooooooooooooow!" He said as he assumed the fetal position.

"Gomen, Gomen… Sumimasen Siegfried-sama… Can I help you? Do you need a massage?" Talim asked innocently. Siegfried's eyes grew so wide he looked like a cheap Anime character.

"Talim… if you gave me a massage… it would certainly relieve my pain, but I would be taken to jail for child perversion…" He said as he stood up and took a few steps.

"Now… Now… Ow… w…" Once again was heard.

"Great… we forgot about him…" Siegfried said as he held the thin Warrior and looked at the direction in which the sound came. Siegfried looked and to the light of the window in which Talim and him were cowarding in fear came the Gardener of the castle… or what seemed to be the gardener.

"Can you hear me now…?.... Good! Please switch the lights back on… this place is rather creepy…- He said and then the lights came back and they saw the joyful Gardener with wishes to be the spokesperson of Verizon Wireless.- Master Schtauffen… Good night…" Siegfried felt like killing him, but then he noticed he was still holding Talim.

"Come Kid… let's go…" He said with a heavy sight. Talim walked beside him.

When they arrived at the entrance, the rest of the souls were sitting there in the Threshold waiting for them.

"You surely delayed…." Kilik said as he looked at Siegfried that frowned and kept walking.

"Do we need to stop on a church so you repent from your sins?" Raphael said as all of them started their way to the car. Siegfried turned around walked to Raphael and slapped the back of his head.

"Soreil… you are sick and need professional help…" Siegfried said as Raphael sobbed the recent brain quake he received. Maxi plainly laughed and smiled at his face on the cover girl mirror.

"Can you hear me now?" Talim said and Siegfried looked at her over his shoulder.

"Good…" He said as he laughed a bit and so she laughed.

"What's so funny of that annoying commercial?" Asked Ivy.

"I don't know.. I only see stick figures…" Kilik said with a stupid smile as they entered the car, an RV, and went away.

Ghosts and creepy cell phones? Manson is back… Wait up for chapter two

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Hey there…. Hope You enjoyed it… review… don't flame…leave your message after the beep…. BEEP… Bye bye!"


	2. Raphael in WallMartland

Rafael in Wall-Mart Land

Once inside the Soul RV, Siegfried was reliving his still sore 'Sieggy Scepter' with a bag of ice. Talim was way busy with a small cell phone she found and Charade and Cervantes were having a serious conversation that was being closely watched by the rest of the souls.

"Extra Tasty crispy…." Said Cervantes.

"…(Original)" Replied Charade, it is most certain that we know nothing how an argument with charade carries on…. But this is a fic, anything can happen.

"EXTRA TASTY CRISPY….."

"… (ORIGINAL)" Raphael rolled his eyes as he took a seat in the RV right beside Talim.

"Are they going to keep it up?" He asked as he watched the Philippine warrior playing with the cell phone.

"I don't get it…" Talim said as she looked at the cell phone.

"What is here not to get Tal?- Yunsung asked.- Cervantes says the Extra Tasty Crispy recipe from KFC is better than the Original…. Charade says that the original is better…" Yunsung asked a she looked at Talim that raised a brow at him.

"Baka… I know they have been arguing about that since ages now… What I don't get is the stupid calling to travel to who knows were at three in the morning…." Talim said as she leaned back.

"What I don't get, Mon Cherri… Is that strange obsession of yours of speaking Japanese when you are Philippine?" Said Raphael as Ivy hi-jacked Maxi's Cover Girl mirror before he noticed and proceeded to freak out. Maxi, the sexiest Metrosexual of the seven seas and a few rivers.

"I've been watching Anime… Learning a new language…" Talim said as she looked at Maxi now searching for his mirror.

"EXTRA TASTY CRISPY…." Continued the argument. Siegfried stood up, placed the bag of ice in the fridge and sat back down.

"Wooooosh…." Said Voldo.

"You are right…-Cassandra said as she rolled her eyes.- Everyone knows the chicken is good… what's the deal?" Mitsurugi on his corner decided to both not pay attention to the argument about chicken that has been taking place for about two weeks now, and to the fact that Cassandra and Voldo could speak and hold a conversation. How exactly she could tell what 'Wooosh' meant… Only the Greek gods knew because the Christian God and Buddha were out of town that weekend. ::Insert golf Playing Buddha here::: Suddenly, a soft music that seemed to be a cell phone's ringing filled the RV. Talim looked at the screen on the small cell phone on her hand and read a message.

"Plug the cell phone to the monitor on the RV…" And so she did. A steam of Images came from a non determined place.

"Welcome to Road Rules Soul Calibur….- A shady voice in the shadows said.- This is not Road Rules and therefore you don't win crap and can't complain to MTV but, here's the deal…. You have a few Tasks to fulfill and if at the end I am pleased I will not reveal this compromising information I have of ALL of you…" The shady and in the shadows shadowy voice said. All the guys looked at each other. Only God knew what was in that envelope and that they most certainly didn't want anyone to know about.

"What do we have to do?" Asked Siegfried as he finally got the feeling back to one of his most appreciated zones of his body,

"There are a series of individual challenges that you must fulfill in order to be a step closer to the envelope…. First off… You have two hours to startle at least 50 persons…. Two persons must take this challenge and a third will record it with the cell phone's camera phone, sending the stream to my cell phone…. Now Go…" and the communication was over.

"What are we going to do? And most importantly… Where is my Mirror?" Asked Maxi as Ivy smiled widely and placed the Mirror in Yoshimitsu's hat. Siegfried was checking on something in a laptop that was in the RV.

"I have an idea…"He said as all the guys looked at him.

"You…. Wanna … help?" Kilik said as he dropped to the floor and started faking a heart attack.

"Breathe rod boy…. BREATHE!" Said Cassandra as she looked at Kilik and moved him with her foot.

"Look… we are all in this… now, let's do this…" Siegfried said as Talim decided to record the footage. She had been playing with the camera for longer than anyone.

"Ok… I will help, mes amies… I am great at startling…" Said Raphael and Yunsung decided to also help and therefore Siegfried explained his plan to the three of them and they held a conference in extreme secrecy.

"OK…. To the SC-mobile…" Yunsung happily said pointing up with his index finger in a determined position.

"When it came to brains you received all the looks, ne, Yun-chan?" Talim said as she sighed and Siegfried tried not to laugh but it was just hard not to.

"Did she just insult me?" Yunsung asked, not noticing the SC mobile was the RV and they all were already in it.

"The prosecution rests, your honor…" Talim said and Siegfried had to laugh out loud.

"Great one baby girl…. You are going to make me bust a gut…" Siegfried said as Maxi looked at him in his frantic attack of finding his mirror.

"Those are the moments that deserve a picture…" Ivy ironically said as Taki pulled a disposable camera and took a quick picture of a smiling Siegfried. Siegfried looked at Taki wide eyed, and he saw Taki within all those blinding lights that the flash left on his eyes.

"Wow… the colors…." He said with a lost in space look. And just then, the RV stopped in a Wall Mart.

"Ok…. Here we go…." Said the four of them. Siegfried was the mission leader, Talim the camera crew and Ynsung and Raphael were performing the mission.

-- Shadow-Vision--

Before Talim walked Raphael and Yunsung pretty cockily towards the doors of the innocent Wall Mart. Talim focused on the German beside her and he was reading from a paper and when he saw her filming him, he smiled and covered his face with the paper.

"Ok, Mon Capitan… C'est quoi we have to do?" Raphael asked as Siegfried looked at the paper.

"Ok… We start off with this… Yunsung and I will stay in the Toy area…. Talim… go with him… remember… make a third call and share the video on my cell phone…" Siegfried said and The camera focused on Raphael's Evil Frenchie smile.

"This is it…" He said handing her a paper and the camera started filming the floor and suddenly a creepy Jaws Theme song ringtone filled the air.

"Danke…. Babe…" And Siegfried and Yunsung walked away.

"Where are we going, Raphael?" Talim asked as she followed him to the women's department. They stood looking at the place and a bunch of airheads entered the place with apparel filled with pink clothes, the attendant had to leave her place to help an old woman decide between a freaky hat and the other and then Raphael entered the place. Talim placed the camera on her face.

"I don't know what he is going to do… But I hope those bimbos get traumatized… he, he, he…" She said with a nasty chuckle. Pointing back at the door of the dressing rooms she waited and waited… Suddenly….

"SACRE BLEU…. WHERE IS THE TOILET TISSUE?" A choir of 'Ew's and bitchy screams were heard and soon after a group of bimbos ran with their hands on the air and their bras on display with their small breasts showing. Raphael came out with his French accented maniacal laugh.

"That makes ten… we have forty more to Mon Cherri…" He said as Talim and him began to run towards the Toy area. There, Siegfried and Yunsug were laughing like assholes.

"Oh my dear lord… that was priceless…." Yunsung said as he leaned on a stack of RC Hummers.

"Mercy… Now… your turn…" Raphael said. But Yunsung couldn't get a hold on himself and that could put in peril the mission. So, Raphael decided to carry on, Siegfried pointed at a second place in the paper and nodding, Talim and Raphael walked away.

"What now, Raphael?" Talim asked.

"Watch…" He said as he walked to the center alley of the store.

"::: Chrrrrr (Or whatever the noise those speakers make is)::: Mr Raphael Soreil Your Family waits for you in the main door….Mr. Raphael Soreil…. Your family waits for you in the main door…. :::Chrrrrr:::" Talim filmed Raphael as he fell to the floor and assumed the fetal position.

"NOOOOO…. THE VOICES AGAIN… MAKE THEM STOP MAKE THEM STOP…." He said as a group of people walked away from him while he shivered in fear in the floor.

"Mamma… he's scary…"

"Don't look at him dear…." A mother said as she pulled her four kids away from him. Talim walked to Raphael.

"Come Uncle Simon….- she said as she held the cell phone to film the startled people.- Sorry… He forgot to drink his medications…." She said as she held Raphael.

"Look Mamma… A blue elephant…" He said as they walked away and began laughing, finding Siegfried and Yunsung chocking of laugher in a corner of the pharmacy area.

"That…:::Chuckle::: Makes 35 startled people…. 15 to go…" Siegfried said as he tried getting a grip but just couldn't. He pointed at the next selection of a joke and Raphael nodded and once again the almost gutless Talim and him walked around in the store. She filmed as he entered the fishing area and grabbed a hook and a bottle of ketchup that was strolling loose in the alley. He took some ketchup on his mouth and taking off the chin ring he had he placed the hook there and walked to an associate.

"Excuse me…- he said- Are you sure this is safe for the fishes?" He asked and when the attendant turned around he only saw a guy with a hook on his chin and blood gushing out of his mouth and the guy fainted, and an old lady that was walking around started screaming like a headless hen and ran off. He took off the hook and cleaned the blood and walked back to Siegfried and Yunsung that were plainly sitting in the floor and holding their stomachs in pain.

"Did you see that woman?" Yunsung said between chuckles….

"Ja… here…. Pick the last two… you need to startle at least 12 more people for us to be a step closer to the envelope…" Siegfried said as he just couldn't hold it. Nodding Raphael took Talim with him and walked to the hunting area of the store, grabbed a sniper gun and stepped in the hallway. Talim just couldn't hold the laughs. And then, Raphael held the gun like a SWAT guy or something and started stalling the first person that came around humming the mission impossible theme. With that, he startled a Rocker, three bimbos in pink slippers that almost tripped on the DirecTV booth, a fat guy buying beer and a geek checking for books. Talim was sitting in a radio box because she couldn't laugh anymore because it was too painful. Calling her to him, both of them hid inside some cloths racks and Talim from hers filmed the Rack where Raphael was.

"Oh… Marge, so you think he cheats on you…" Two women came speaking.

"Pick me…." Was heard from the rack. The woman picked a blouse but kept speaking; a few more women came around searching in different racks.

"No Debra…. My Roger would never do that…" Said the other one as she picked an olive green shirt.

"Not the olive green…. Pick me… Pick me… No, me…" Continued Raphael inside the rack and all the women around the rack looked at it.

"What was that?" Asked one of the other ones that was checking on the rack beside where Raphael was hiding. One of the women picked a purple blazer.

"Pick me damn it…. I don't want to be on a sale…" Raphael said as the women took steps backwards and one decided to open the rack and check. Receiving the scare of their life when Raphael startled her and held the sniper paint ball shot gun on his hand. The women went away screaming. Raphael came out and pulling Talim out of the rack he walked to where Siegfried and Yunsung were supposed to be. In their way the saw a security guy.

"Sir… are you stalking people?" The guard said as he looked at Raphael turning paler than what he already was.

"Gomen ne, demo... Kimi wa Baba-desu…. Dekata, Onegai…." Talim said as another guard came to the one speaking to Talim and Raphael.

"Are they the ones we are looking for?" The guy asked.

"I don't think so… these are Japanese…." The guard said as they both walked away and Talim and Raphael met Siegfried and Yunsun in the entrance of Wall Mart and they walked to the RV.

"What did you tell them?" Asked Siegfried.

"I Asked them to forgive us, but he was an idiot and I asked him politely to move…." Talim said as she entered the RV were everyone was laughing their asses out and the shadowy shadow of the Dark Shadows was also laughing.

"Well Done… You startled 54 persons… we will be in contact…" The Shadowy voice said and then the transition was out. The RV started it's way to wherever it was that they were going, expecting the new instructions from the Shadow of The Dark Shadows.

So…. Prankster Raphaels and Shadowy voices? Stay up for Chapter 3….

--- End of transmission---

Thanks for reading and let me know if you want this nonsense to continue... Review and tell me what you think so far and constructive criticism is more than welcome…. Toodles


	3. Night of the living weirdness

Hello… I declare that I have my own copy of Soul Calibur 2 but I own nothing of the game… Damn it…. DAMN YOU NAMCO…. –Breathes heavily- On With the show!

Night of the living Weirdness 

Still in the RV, our beloved heroes, foes and three mean looking French fries which seemed to be conspiring for World Domination were waiting for further communication from the Shadowy Shadow of the Shadows of Doom. Still, the French fry presence was a mystery to the entire crew.

"Raph… Talk to them!" Desperately whispered Cervantes as he leaned away from the tough looking fries. Raphael simply looked at him while he schemed a way to keep away from the McDonald's rejects.

"Why me?" Asked Raphael leaning back.

"Because you are French… Du'h!" Said Yunsung looking at him with the most challenging of raised brows.

"That just makes no sense…" Replied he whom spoke the language of love.

"This whole thing makes no sense to me!" Uttered a frustrated Cassandra as she applied some Eye drops to Charade. The before mentioned limited to blink repeatedly at Cassandra.

"You may be right, my beloved eye…" Said Cassandra. Nobody dared to say anything because maybe she spoke Morse code for eyelids or something. She had long conversations with Charade. Talim looked at her a little confused but decided not to even get started or she was going to get lost in translation, and yet anyways she was too busy editing the footage from Wal-Mart and syncing it to the lyrics of the Song 'Wild Thing'… so she was VERY busy. Ivy on her side was just crossing a leg and watching everything in despair. She just couldn't get through her head both the idea of Raphael startling so many people and those being Siegfried's ideas, a German and a French working together for Human Horror… The world was coming to an end. And as she thought about it, in came Siegfried/Nightmare from the RV's Cockpit… (Why is it named like that?)

"Ohh… French Fries…" He happily said as he took the mean looking fries on his hand.

"Vive La Resistance…" The Fries yelled before they proceeded to be engulfed by the staving German.

"Sieggy…. NOOOOOOOOO…-yelled Maxi as he looked at his reflection in the rear mirror. Still, his Cover Girl mirror was in Yoshi's hat.- OOOOO…. God I'm sexy…. NOOOOO…." Continued Maxi with an exaggerated expression of huge tragedy.

"Knock it off already you Ultramarine Drama Queen… They were just French Fries…." Taki said sighing and folding her arms over her chest to produce a serious seizure on Yunsung. A drool induced seizure, who knew someone could be almost 30 and look as hot as Inferno in a summer day….

"But, they were mean French Fries… - Said Yunsung after regaining contact with his brain cells (Or not)….- What if they had a French Fry version of a Mafia family and now we are all going to get killed?" Talim raised a brow and simply decided to ignore.

"Mean Fries?" Asked Mitsurugi as he raised a brow and looked astonished at the young warrior and his hybrid theories.

"Just smile and nod Samurai… and the world shall open to you widely with colors never meant to exist…." Kilik said with an understanding and very wise tone as Mitsurugi looked at him with wide eyes. The hair defying samurai received as a reply a huge smile from Kilik, shaking his head in denial, Mitsurugi sighed.

"Enlightened words my boy…"

"What were they going to do….? Drown us in Fancy Ketchup?" Continued the argument between Taki and Yunsung… and in any other case anyone would have ignored him because they thought he was just in that phase of life where Teens want to piss everyone off… which is very fun to do, by the way. But Taki was not up to it….

"They could have…" Said Yunsung staring at the floor and scratching the back of his head. Siegfried just blinked…. All that argument for 3 French Fries… 3 FRENCH FRIES, strayed, alone and naked there in the cold and bitter world and he gave them a home in his tummy and nobody was happy about it. They were saying they were gangsta' fries which were going to shoot them with Heinz Ketchup semi-automatics. He could even picture the fries saying… 'Say hello to my little friend…' And shooting them with a Ketchup dispenser.

"Mmmm…. Heinz!" Said Sieggy the Mighty in a bliss.

"I think we lost him…" Said Yoshimitsu shinning for everyone. Talim just took a pic of the thing… Not often they got to see Siegfried Schtauffen/Nightmare in one of those holly space-out attacks. Might as well make a memento of the thing.

"I think so…. - Said Maxi while lounging in the couch of the RV. - … And I am sexy!"

"We know me Lad… Yarg!" Said Cervy sitting where the French Fry Mafia used to sit. Ivy just sighed…. Nothing made any sense anymore Talim stood up and went to Yoshimitsu.

"Here Maxi boy… FETCH!" She said throwing the mirror and Maxi caught it and proceeded to adore himself a little more and admire his metrosexual beauty. And just then the communication system of the RV came up.

"Well Hello…. - Said Shady… Ivy simply pouted, when she thought things couldn't get worse… the shady one came along. - I have a new challenge for you… You have to spend the night in a haunted house … if you win…" Shady (Let's name it Shady and keep up with our lives) was interrupted by happy looking souls.

"We get the envelope and our lives back…?" Asked Cassandra with bright eyes and almost floating like a helium balloon while Charade placed a string in her ankle and held her from floating out of the window.

"Silly Cassy… that's just for me…- Said Shady in that Trix commercial tone and Cassandra stopped floating and descended like a busted balloon. – You guys get a prize…"

"What Prize…?" Asked Taki as she looked astonished at how Maxi confessed his love for himself.

"That's a surprise – Said Shady. - Then again, Please footage and You have till dawn…" It said with a very grave tone to then make the screen go to a Shield like logo swirling over and over again. The souls simply sighed as they saw the R V stop in front of a huge house. As they stopped from the Cockpit came out a being the size of Talim covered in a black cloak and having on hand a small box. Ivy took the box and stood ion the doorway as the cloaked thingy disappeared.

"So… Here we are…." She said as she looked at the box, opening it she found a Digital Camera and handed it to Talim. Everyone started going out in a nice line and walked to the gates where a huge house was seen from between weeds and shrubs. The house looked creepy enough to be scarier than Nighty's Verizon Wireless Sponsored castle, and just as they looked and walked through the shrub infested driveway, a lighting hit right behind the house and a Maniacal laughter echoed.

"Siegfried-san!" Screamed Talim holding on to the Height defied German.

"Ist Tut mir leid (I am so sorry), Babe… I couldn't resist" Siegfried said clearing his throat.

"Well performed Lad…" Encouraged Cervantes the blonde Maniac.

"Danke Cervy…." Said Sieg as he looked at Talim leave him and walk to Yunsung to fix up the Digital Camera she needed to use to record all that happened in the Haunted House.

"I hope this isn't one of those killer houses that feed on Souls…" Cassandra told Charade as she held the hand of the weapon and handing it a white board he usually used to communicate with the Non-Cassandra people.

"Like Rose Red?" Wrote Charade.

"Whoosh… (Wow…. Stephen King….)" Replied Voldo.

"Come on….- Gasped Maxi rolling his eyes.- Sieggy the Mighty there feeds on souls and you are not scared of him…. Of course he's a dwarf and I am sexy but nobody is perfect…." Siegfried simply looked at him wide eyed and while they walked to the entrance of the house and dodged a few more shrubs in the process.

"Yeah, Nighty… you should consider a change in your diet. I read somewhere that souls are very low in proteins…" Yunsung said as he caught a shrub and posed for the camera Talim was holding with it.

"Maybe he should eat more carbs… since he has that 'Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie thing going…" Argued Cassandra as she watched Voldo battling with some shrubs that were in the way to the House's door.

"A… Ara(Huh)?- Asked Talim looking at the Blushed German- Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie?"

"Yeah, You know kid…. - Continued Ivy- The 'I am misunderstood and need a hug but please don't touch me or I will be forced to kill you' thing… It is very common and popular between Germans… I think it's a German thing." Ivy said as she helped Voldo trim the shrubs and making some vast generalizations about German men.

"Yeah, I dated a German once and it was just the same thing…" Taki said as she looked at Siegfried who was plainly blinking. That was the reason he didn't like hanging out with them… they always treated him as if he was the incarnation of every German stereotype they knew.

"(Really?)" Asked Charade.

"Yeah… He was so cute…. I miss him…" Said Taki.

"I may not be able to pull that off…I am too hot to be 'sad'…" Said Maxi while looking at his hands. Then they finally reached the entrance of the house.

"People, stop it…! - Argued the Arian one…- Cervantes yells that he will feast on your soul and nobody prosecutes him." Said him defending his Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie honor. He looked at Cervy the Cute dead pirate who gave him the peace sign and smiled silly at him.

"Yeah, he says it…- Said Astaroth once and for all entering the argument. - But he is not a sad bad boy…. He may have been a hottie with a mustache when he was alive…. Like those Mexican novela actors… he kicks our asses ever day, but he smiles and is happy…- Said Astaroth defending the happy purple pirate. Everyone looked at him wide eyed because for the first time Astaroth finished a phrase without saying…. - WORMS!" Never mind… but he defended Cervantes nonetheless.

"Yeah Nighty…- Said Yunsung looking at Cervy's Sexy Pirate in Bliss smile. - Do you need a Group hug… or professional help? The psychologist at my school used to say feelings weren't bad and we needed to open ourselves to the world." Wisely advised the Teen warrior as he looked at the boiling pot that was Nightmare. He just limited himself to smile like a mad piranha and sigh heavily.

"Seriously… Stop it…" Said Siegfried squeezing his teeth tight.

"Awww… Poor baby Sieggy needs Love…- Said Maxi now leaning in a column of the entrance.- And I am Hot.." He said looking at the weed covering the door.

"Goddamn it…. I DON'T NEED LOVE…" Siegfried yelled as some steam escaped his ears.

"No… he needs sex…" Whispered Talim as she filmed the whole scene.

"Damn Right…- Replied Sieg folding his arms in determination and smiling eyes closed…. Then opening his eyes to see Talim's sick smile and her nod towards the camera…- Err…. I mean…. TAMASHIOOO!" And Siegfried/Nightmare took Voldo like a sadist version of a trimmer and started cutting through the shrubs that stood between them and the door.

"Siegfried-sama…. Saying 'Souls' in Japanese is definitely not going to help you…- Talim said as all the souls including Voldo who had his eyes blindfolded, looked at him.- Then again, if sex is what you need, I am more than sure Ivy-san there can help…" Talim pointed at Ivy who was blowing her nails uninterestedly in the corner.

"I can make the sacrifice…" Ivy said with a huge grin.

"What a sacrifice…" Scuffed Cassandra rolling her eyes.

"My Daughter…. The Martyr…" Said Cervy looking at Nightmare working it with his Voldo 3000 more eagerly now.

"Why does it have to be Ivy…?" Asked Xianghua as she examined the bare bulging muscles of the pocket German.

"Someone's Jealous…." Said Raphael.

"I am not…" Replied Xianghua.

"Suuuuuuuuure…. And I am actually a Magical Fairy escaped from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream…."Said Maxi seeing Siegfried's ears turning as red as Yunsung's hair.

"You are…?"

"No… But I am sexy…. That is something, if not everything…"

"Knock it off already you beauty Queen reject…" Taki said hitting Maxi in the head.

"Watch the hair Boobzilla…"

Meanwhile Siegfried kept working the lawn with Voldo all while Voldo was whooshing left and right and in the end he put him against the door and it opened.

"Ah… it's open… He, he…. Danke Herrgott (Thanks, Lord)…" Said Siegfried dropping Voldo to the floor and entering the dark house as if he was carried by a choir of angels. Voldo simply looked, rubbed his ass and then assumed his arachnid position and 'crawled' inside. Everyone followed him inside and after all of them were in, the door immediately closed.

"So… we spend the night here and we get a prize…" Xianghua said as everyone walked inside the main living room of the house and sat in a corner and stared in silence to one another only hearing a clock ticking in the close hallway.

"Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock…." Said Maxi looking at Nightmare and then at Ivy.

"Take a chance, go bang Next Door…" Talim sang in the tone of Gwen Steffani's song.

"Whatchu waiting, Whatchu waiting, whatchu waiting for…" Sang everyone else.

"Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock…" Continued Maxi.

"People, BITTE… BITTE (Please)… Stop it…" Said Sieg turning redder than what he was and giving a traumatized glance to Talim who smiled widely.

"So… what do we do now…?" Asked Yunsung looking at Nightmare.

"I don't believe in Ghosts… so let's get some sleep…" Said Siegfried as it seemed he had taken the leadership of the team of souls. As he said so, everyone looked at him wide eyed and he looked to the side seeing a ghost beside him.

"BOOOOO…." Said the Ghost.

"WHOOOOSH!" 'Yelled' Voldo.

"What is he saying…?" Asked Siegfried pretty eased looking at the floating mass.

"Who… Voldo or the Ghost?" Asked Cassandra as she squeezed the tears out of Charade. Siegfried simply looked at her wide eyed as Talim strangled his arm.

"Beats me… Both…"

"Voldo said… GHOST…" Said Cassandra looking at the ghost floating merrily from side to side.

"(And the Ghost)?" Asked Charade almost loosing his cornea under her mortal grasp.

"Beats me… I don't speak Ghost…" Said Cassandra while both, the Ghost and Siegfried had the same face, wide eyes.

"Oh dear lord, it wouldn't surprise me if you did… in fact it is a shocker that you don't…" Taki said rolling her eyes.

"Why is that you exhibitionist Ninja?" Asked Cassandra squeezing angrily Charade's spirit.

"You already speak Whoosh…"

"Well….yeah…" Cassandra said.

"Cervantes-sama… what is the ghost saying?" Asked Talim looking at the smiling ghost. Cervantes just curled his mustache and coughed.

"Why me?"

"Because you are dead…" Said Kilik looking at him as if it was more than obvious.

"But…- Cervantes began but desisted. - Ah, what the hell? The Ghost says… 'I am a ghost… fear me…'" Xianghua stood up and walked to the Ghost.

"But, it is Kind of cute… How are you Mr. Ghost?" She asked and the Ghost booed some more… everyone looked at Cervantes.

"Ah. Fuck… 'Why thanks for asking… I am happy to make your acquaintance… Fear me…'" Talim then left her corner with the camera and still filming Xianghua with the Ghost she took Cervantes's hat and went back to her place.

"Ghost-san… are you here to scare us?" Asked Talim all while Nightmare, Taki, Ivy, Kilik and Mitsurugi gave a concert of blinks.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…." Said the Ghost.

"'No… I was just saying hi… I am late for a meeting with Pinky and Blinky in my Pac Man Maze… FEAR ME… bye.'" And the Ghost left.

"Can someone explain what-the-fuck was all that about?" Asked Siegfried.

"Just smile and nod Sieggy… Smile and nod…" Said Kilik and Mitsurugo at the same time with a big grin. Talim smiled while holding the camera and filming everything around her still underneath Cervy's hat. Siegfried then proceeded to smile and nod like the rest.

"So… What do we do now?" Asked Cassandra letting go of Charade.

"Same thing we do every night…" Replied Yoshimitsu.

"Play Charades?" Asked Astaroth.

"(Ah no… there are no more charades in this place but me…)" Charade said while holding his whiteboard…. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Try to take over the world?" Asked Cassandra with a smile.

"Run that by me again?" Said Siegfried smiling like a maniac.

"Forget it ma' boy… you need to have a paintbrush mustache to assume the German Nazi Warlord position…" Said Cervy getting his hat back from Talim. Sieg just made a pouch.

"Let's just get some sleep…" Said Yoshimitsu as everyone grabbed its respective corner and proceeded to fall asleep ignoring a few boo's and a Techno beat that filled the house.

The next morning...+

"Did you sleep well?" Asked Shady as the souls Yawned in the RV.

"We would have… If Xianghua's Ghost friend wouldn't have had a Rave in the basement of the house…" Said Cassandra resting her head and looking at Maxi's mad pouch.

"You know I need my beauty sleep to be sexy…. NOBODY MESSES WITH MY BESUTY NAP….." Maxi yelled as Talim handed him some Unisom so he fell asleep and wouldn't argue anymore.

"So… We survived your stupid games… what is our Prize?" Asked Ivy as she looked at how outside in every car that passed by there was at least three French fries looking at them and making signals with boxes of Fancy ketchup envelopes. Maybe Yunsung was right and there was a Mafia of French Fries… and maybe the sky was green and William Hung is sexy and Ricky Martin is straight…. She just smiled and gave it a rest. The bus turned dark and some light was pointed at the Cockpit.

"Gove a great welcome to the rest of the cast of Soul Calibur….- Said Shady.- Necrid, Lizardman, Berserker, Sophithia, Seung Mina, and making guest appearances….Spawn, Heihashi, Link…. And OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION…. ASSASSIN…" Shady said before leaving the screen.

"And I thought we were a lot…." Cassandra said looking at all the crew. Maxi who was almost knocked out with the Sleeping pills, morbidly sat down and raised one of his dual brows to look at one of the recently arrived…. : Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuun:

"Assassin…." Said Maxi with a hatred filled expression.

End of Transmission.-

I hope you liked that my guys and I apologize for the delay but I was busy with college work…. Damn You Edmund Spenser… Never take a specialized course on Renaissance lit. But… Never mind that… here comes reviewing time… Yay….

To lvmj: I am glad you liked it…. BTW I am a Girl…

To Lysander: Thanks for the warm welcome… And well… I don't speak about future projects but it might be a possibility…. In a last fic I wrote named 'I'm under your spell' Link had a cameo… -smirks- hope you liked the chappie

To Dr. Wilopolis: I believe you are right my Doc… Voldo startles me with just one breath…. But it was Raphie's time to shine….

To Sir Dik Dik: Thanks for the review my dear Sir…. I will read your Fable story over the weekend and be back to you as soon as possible… No need to be honored…. And About my decent action FF story… I am all sarcasm and no seriousness… so decent is fine by me…. In the reference to Somewhat Twisted Takes on Soul Calibur 2… I will proceed to lean back and expect you to look astonished and happy to know the following… There is going to be a Somewhat Twisted Takes on Soul Calibur 2 Strikes Back…. Coming soon to a Display near you… That's a Manson Production…

To NecoCoNeco: Well, here you have it… some more… Welcome and keep up reviewing… Sieggy/Nightmare feeds on Souls… I feed on reviews… REVIEWS… GIVE ME STRENGHT…. By the way…. I like your Azumanga Daioh Name… Sakaki Rocks….

To ……. : Thanks for the encouragement…. I am all about pleasing my audience….

To Faves Love: Well Well…. I am flattered you think so highly of me…. I wasn't sure if anyone would get the 'Fun things to do at wall-mart' joke… but seems I stand corrected, everyday life and Manson's insanity level just measures up to a big mess… The Priest not of the Cloth and I…. Is that Fanfic induced romance….? I will make sure to have my German Kitchenware Handling Kick-ass, sad bad boy, misunderstood hottie beside me when I decide to launch into a more professional level of writing… Maybe I could snatch some more people…. Laters…. -Leaves to wonder where is all the music coming from…-

Well…. My boys, girls and Aliens…. -Random alien goes screaming 'We've been discovered' Before I leave, Rejoice you all true fans of Soul Calibur … For Soul Project is launching Soul Calibur 3…. More fic Material…. Now now… go ahead and review…. CC more than welcome…. Auf Weidersehen…. (Good Bye, German Style)


	4. The Reunion

And Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-re's another chapter…. I don't own Soul Calibur… I can deal with it… -meanwhile weeping- go along… on with the show…

**The Reunion**

It was more or less the same old story. Only now there were fewer places to sit and more threats of death towards some of the official cast members of Soul Calibur. The French Fry Mafia was now sending messages of death, but in the case something bad was going to happen, they could let Nightmare/Siegfried handle it. He seemed to have the set of 'Cojones' needed to deal with such a menace. Everyone in their respective sides was trying to find out what exactly they were going to do with the amount of people that just arrived.

"This is going to be hard…" Talim said as she showed Yunsung the final cut of the Wild thing Video. Yunsung was as red as his hair for laughing so hard.

"Wild Thing… -Face of Raphael in a bliss- You make my heart sing…- Scene of Raph with the fish hook and the employee fainting…- You make everything good Babe… -Raphael with Piranha smile.- Wild Thing…" Yunsung had the vid as a sing along.

"Can we have a briefing of what's going on here?" Heihachi asked as he sat right beside Cassandra. Cervantes, leaning on a corner, caressed his sexy dead pirate mustache and wondered, how exactly did the anatomy of Heihachi's hair worked. So far, he thought Mitsurugi was gravity defying… but this one seemed to come straight out from a Dragon Ball Z manga gone wrong. Maybe he could ask him if he used one of those hair cement things.

"We are in a bizarre game show competing for our deepest darkest secrets…. We won a contest and you ended up being the prize…" Ivy said giving the final touches to her Heinz AK-47… just in the case the French Fries came back. She didn't believe in Yunsung's strange Conspiracy theory of French Fry world domination but in the case she was wrong and he was right…. She had to be ready, no matter how insane it seemed.

"Deepest Darkest Secrets?" Yelled Sophitia…

"HYAAAA…" Yelled Link… everyone looked at Cassandra.

"Drop the glances… I don't speak Hyrulean either…" Said the blonde Greek leaning back.

"What do you speak then….? You don't speak Ghost, you don't speak Hyrulean, you don't speak German… what do you speak…?" Yun asked as he left the side of Talim to go back to his chair.

"Excuse me Yun, I am not fluent in moron, can you please speak slower…" Cassandra said as a mild smile escaped the sexy lips of Sieggy the Mighty.

"The one fluent in moron here is Kilik…." Whispered Taki making Spawn laugh. Sophitia seemed tormented and walked straight to Siegfried.

"Sieg… you promised not to tell…" She said making a pouch and with her huge Greek eyes all sad. Siegfried/Nightmare to this point was half in the RV half sharpening his fangs in front of the window while looking at the French Fries in the cars. In his Sieggy colored world the Fries begged for mercy in his hands… 'Please, monsieur… Don't eat Us…-and then he ate them…- VIVE LA RESSISTANCE… AAAAHH' and the fries periled under his mortal munching skills. That was before he was accused by Sophitia.. He looked at her with his sexy brow raised, after all, a sexy German Demon with all seeing eyes as companions for life and plans of world dominations held back for lack of a paintbrush mustache should not be disturbed when scheming about lunch… it is dangerous.

"Ah… huh?" He asked as he looked at her and pass her to Maxi that was lounging in the sofa while Assassin begged for him to take his feet off so he could sit down. Maxi assumed his Diva sailor stance and ignored him with a high chin and eyes closed.

"How…. How could you tell them about Squeaky….?" She said taking him by the shirt and driving him to his knees to harass him with her eyes. Though driving Siegfried to his knees doesn't take that much distance.

"Kyaaa…. Squeaky…. Sophitia…. I don't understand…" He said as he took his German eyes away from her face because she was almost poking him with an eyelash.

"Squeaky Me lad… you spilled the beans on Squeaky remember…" Cervantes said with a purple smile while Astaroth looked at him and then at Nightmare that was as scared as shit of loosing his eyes in the menacing eyelashes of Sophithia. Then Cervantes went and sat right beside Heihashi to take a closer look at that rare follicular specimen.

"Squeaky?" Asked Maxi caressing his sexy hair and blowing a kiss to himself while Assassin quit on his effort of sitting down and leaned in the hallway of the RV.

"Yeah, He spoke about Squeaky…- Continued Yunsung throwing an arm over Talim's shoulder and smiling like a moron.- and the thing, and that other thing and we laughed… Ahhh…. Good times, Good times…" Talim's brow almost reached the back of her neck.

"Squeaky?" Asked Heihashi as he looked at Cervantes that was filling an internet order for something that seemed to be one of those Chemistry sets parents give kids so they don't bug for a while. And just when things were turning awkward, that with Sieggy signing a Life insurance for his eyes while held on Sophitia's mortal grasp in puffed a random girl with pigtails.

"Yes… Squeaky DAMN IT… S.Q.E.A.K.Y…." And the girl puffed away. Everyone just blinked… it was just too weird, even Sieggy whom was turning blue for the lack of oxygen.

"Who was that?" Asked Talim.

"Um…. Wanda?" Asked Spawn as Ivy just shook her head.

"I am pretty sure that wasn't Wanda…. It looked more like Wendy's…" Said Raphael remembering the Logo of the Fast Food company and then resuming his watching of Sophitia strangling Siegfried as he encouraged Talim to film it. And so the young Talim filmed.

"HOW COULD YOU…." She said a she shook him like a fuzzy Maraca.

"That's it Sieggy-sama… work that fear… The camera loves you babe…- Said Talim taking a shot of the thing. – More gasps for air… I love that look of desperation in your eyes… wait… this angle doesn't work, I can see myself in your eyes…." She said as she fixed her hair and then took another position. Daytime Emmy…. There goes Talim. Taki simply smiled and nodded, just like Kilik, Mitsurugi and Yoshi and they looked like a clan of Bubble-heads.

"Siegfried…" Cassandra called just to check he was still alive.

"Let go of… me or I…. will be forced to…. Hurt you….. ack… I can't… I can't breathe…." Siegfried/Nightmare desperately called for aid. But none moved to help him.

"Ziggy… Squeaky… remember, we were talking about it last night… it was actually kind of cute…" Ivy said as she used Voldo as a whooshing target for her Machine gun. Cassandra just sighed and Link Sighed louder than her. He couldn't cooperate with the thing because he could recite by memory TS Eliot's The Waste Land and they only understood HYAAAA….

"Siegfried Amadeus Schtauffen…." Sophitia was officially pissed off…. For the record, the strangling and eyelash stabbing was just a warm up.

"Sister…" Cassandra called.

"A… Amadeus…?" Asked Maxi sitting down abruptly to look at Sieg and Assassin flew at light speed to the couch and now he was sitting in it beside Maxi.

"Amadeus?" Assassin repeated. Everyone went in a WTF moment.

"Rock Me Amadeus…." Sang Talim with a very oldies song on her tune while she filmed the mess.

"Sophitia…" Kilik called…

"Shut up Kilik…. How could you talk about Squeaky, Siegfried…" Sophitia was turning tomato red.

"Ah…. Air….I… haven't had… children yet… my… axis in… progress…. Is not… complete…. L… let go of me…. " Siegfried was turning blue and looked like a weak squid.

"Sophitia…." Kilik called once again.

"Not Now Kilik… How could you tell them I dated Markus Squeaky Walters to get a good grade in science….?" Sophithia uttered as Siegfried's eyes grew as wide as Talim's. In that moment, time stopped, birds crashed, a picture of a geek popped, with buck teeth greasy hair, bottle bottom glasses and a huge arrow that read Squeaky pointing at it with blinking lights around it…. A hysterical woman popped, screamed and the picture and the woman broke into pieces. Siegfried then escaped Sophitia's grasp and took big gasps of air… Then…

"You…. Did…. WHAT? - Siegfried said and then simply broke into the biggest laugh attack he could have ever gotten; he was turning redder by the minute, rolling on his torso in the floor grabbing his ribcage. It was the first time anyone saw in Siegfried his 32 pearly whites. – Ah… Mein Herrgott…. How could you….? I am going to bust a gut…"He said as he kept rolling in the floor of the RV like a ball. Sophitia was plainly shocked as Kilik stood beside her.

"I was the one that knew about Squeaky…." Kilik said with a heavy sigh.

"You were…?"

"Yup…" He said sitting down and joining the bubble head club.

"Ah, Crap…" Sophitia said hitting her forehead with her hand. Then she went and sat beside Lizardman that was looking at Charade with a happy hungry smile and eyes of 'Buffet.' Then Charade jumped into Cassandra's arms and looked for aid from the hungry reptile.

"Ah… Ficken… you made me cry… I have never laughed so hard.- Said Sieggy the Mighty wiping the tears from his eyes.- By the way…. I don't have a second name. That was the other Siegfried… Siegfried Amadeus Schmitz… Another Geek, a mathlete… Did you date him too….?" Sophitia blushed out of rage.

"Siegfried Schtauffen…." She just said and he looked at Cassandra. Sophitia was crunching her knuckles.

"Sieg…. RUN LIKE THE WIND…" Said Cassandra as she felt the RV Stop.

"Why?" He asked standing closer to the door… it was safer to ask close to the door.

"BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU…." Sophitia screamed as Ivy held her with Valentine.

"You have the advantage of five seconds Sieg… " She said with her leg folder.

"Um…. THE WORLD WILL BE MINE….' And he ran out and Ivy let go of the fierce beast, I mean the delicate Sophitia. Talim Jumped on Siegfried's shoulder with her camera to film the chase and the other souls followed giving the soundtrack to the chase.

"PLAY THE KILLER SONG…." And they whistled Kill Bill's nurse's song.

"What did I do to her?" Asked Siegfried to the camera as Talim bounced on his back.

"You made her look like an idiot in the vid…"

"That was herself…." He said as he jumped a few rocks and heard Sophitia's screams and the stupid whistle.

"That's show biz Siegfried-sama…" Talim said making a close up to his gorgeous blue-green eyes.

"By the way…. How come you are on my back?" He asked her while he crossed a small creek.

"I don't know… I jumped and fell here… It's a good spot to film but how it happened… A mystery… RUN GERMAN BOY RUN" And the chase continued with Sieggy running like a maniac and Talim 'Wee-ing' of happiness. (I know wee-ing is not a word but I can't find other way to describe 'Wee' of happiness. So bear with me on that one.)

In the RV the Connection of Shady went on…

"Well, Hello… I have a new…. Mission? Where's everyone…?" Asked Shady looking at the empty RV somehow… don't ask me, I don't know.

"They are running through the forest, ask Talim for footage…" Answered Seung Mina while leaning on the couch with a frown.

"And why are you here?"

"Because I haven't talked in all this time and I had to say something and when I was going to speak everyone ran off and nobody heard what I had to say…" She said as she kept frowning.

"It was probably nothing of importance then…." Said Shady and as Seung Mina was going to defend herself the connection was lost and she stood with the words hanging from her mouth.

"AH… DAMN IT…."Said Mina kicking the table and it hit the counter and a bottle of Heinz fell on her head and covered her in ketchup.

"… I hate Karma…" She said making a pouch and folding her arms underneath the ketchup.

EOT-

Well, there you have Chappie Nimeru Cuatro… which means Chappie number four. And now, for our nice reviewers…. A word from us Kids… LOL, I love irony.

To Sir Dik-Dik Follower of Beef: Well thanks for the review… I kinda didn't know that my potty mouth humor made me be me… but what the hell, I am the proud owner of a potty mouth… Thanks for following and I like beef…

To Fayes Love: Well, I don't know about the unworthy souls and the other thing. I am glad that people likes what I write and that is why I keep doing it…. I hope you liked this last chapter… Along with Sir Dik-Dik and the Priest Not of the Cluth you are one of my most loyal reviewers… BTW, he is not reviewing but he is reading the fics and I know he likes them…. How….? I am psychic… Toodles…

To The Blue Faerie: Well, I guess that I am not the only one that can come up with amazing psycho conspiracy theories…. I assure you FRENCH FRIES ARE EVIL… the ghost was from a pac man game… I am glad you liked the fic so far… Enjoy

To Infamous fran; Glad you liked it… Thanks for reviewing

To Dr, Wilopolis: He he… liked it, the Voldo Lawnmower I found it cute… and Voldo for me is scary. SC 3 will kick ass… -looking to the side- I need a PS2…. TO THE MANSON MOBILE…. Thanks for the review… bye…

To NecoCoNeco 2010: Glad you liked the Voldo 3000 another product from manson's sick imagination to make your life easier.

To AthaMaarit: I am glad you liked it. Welcome be you to the sick world of Manson where everything with a bit of sugar spice and a little sarcasm can be possible I hope you liked this chapter…. Thanks for reviewing….

Thanks to all those who reviewed and those who like to read… I apologize for the delay but I was undergoing finals at college and Shakespeare is a really demanding dude. I know, must people read Shakespeare when they are in Grade school, but I was taking specialized courses in English Literature…. But it's OK, I am the Goth Bird of Happiness… PLEASE REVIEW… and thanks again for reading…


	5. Shocking Declarations

Here's chapter 5, a very random and senseless one… This is not a drill… I REPEAT… NOT A DRILL… On with the show… I don't own SC…

**Shocking declarations: The SC Soap Opera….**

After a few hours of running like a bitch through the woods, Sieggy now was cleansing his wounds in a corner.

"GOTTVERDAMNT… this hurts… -He said as he wiped the scratches he had on his arm with some alcohol. Then he proceeded to look in the Medicine kit for some band aids.- Where are the band-aids?" He asked and everyone looked at Voldo. The looked at was hugging the box of band-aids and as soon as he noticed it he hid them.

"I guess it is dangerous to ask for them…" Said Siegfried looking at Sophitia that was scraping her nails…

"I can't take your DNA from my nails…" She said as she used a toothpick to take some skin off her nails.

"Sophitia… you need to control your temper…" Seung Mina said as she looked at Sieggy/Nightmare wallowing in his despair for Sophitia… Even when that was Cervantes's job.

"Did you hear something Sis?" Asked Sophitia. Cassandra just shrugged and leaned back.

"Um… I…" Mina simply brushed her hair out of her face and sighed….

"Guys…" She began.

"Seriously Sophitia…- Interrupted Nightmare.- Why the hell you had to slash me like a Voldo wannabe? It is not my fault you have a sucky memory."

"E… Excuse Me…" Mina tried again.

"Still…- Now it was Yunsung.- I have never seen Sieg there run so much… You know guys… like… it was like those old cartoons, The Coyote and the Road Runner…" He said as Mina took a deep breath. She had something important to say. Talim meanwhile was looking at the message sent with the footage for shady and smiled to Yunsung's quote. She remembered the cartoon.

"Guys I…" Mina was interrupted once more….

"It was necessary Sieg… you made me look like an idiot…" Sophitia said cleaning her nails. Maxi, whom to this moment was awakening from his beauty nap after the run he took to whistle the Killer Song behind Nightmare found himself watched by Assassin

"Don't look at me… You hurt my eyes… I am too sexy to have my retina hurt by your presence." He said looking to the other side. Assassin simply sighed and sat beside Spawn.

"Um… hello? I…" Mina tried once again.

"But… for being so short, this young fella sure can run…" Heihachi said as he now was the one to interrupt Seung Mina.

"I am not short you Vegeta wannabe… I am of a normal height…" Siegfried defended himself. Kilik laughed strongly.

"Normal Height for a dwarf… seriously Sieg… in school, what were you? The Class Hamster…?" He said as Mitsurugi looked at Kilik wide eyed. Sieg/Nightmare was the sociopath of the group… nobody joked that much with the guy.

"I was your mother's lover…" Siegfried said as he looked dead serious at Kilik.

"You know…- Mina made another attempt…- I think…" But since it is more than obvious, what happened? She got interrupted.

"Guys… Stop it. Your Mothers are not here to defend themselves from your childish attacks… - Spawn said very serious under his 'EL DIABLO' mask. The guys looked a little ashamed of themselves, it was true… they shouldn't make fun of the mothers of anyone.- Besides… I am trying to think how I will fund Wanda…" He said not noticing he interrupted Seung Mina for maybe the 10th time.

"Um… people… I think…" She tried once more…. And then, a helicopter paired up with the RV and a UPS guy hanging from a ladder handed Cervy a package.

"WOW… That was quick…" Cervantes said as he looked at the package.

"We guarantee your package will be delivered before 8:00 a.m. of the next day…" Said the UPS Guy as he waved and the Helicopter flew away. Mina was starting to boil.

"WOOOOOOOOOSH…" Voldo said and everyone looked at Cassandra.

"Ah… alright already…- she said with a sigh and a huge frown- What's in the box Cervantes?"

"This is My Ultra Special Hi-Tech more than what it seems Kind of stupid and mostly insanely nonsense Only for Playtime Chemistry set…" Cervy said with a smile.

"Please… someone… listen…" Mina said with tears on her eyes….

"We only wanted to know what was in the box…." Said Ivy feeling that her father was going deader and deader every minute that passed. Then again she was right but she was not going to make a scene out of it.

"But… that's what it is…" He said showing Raphael the super amazing Frenchie the box.

"Ultra Special Hi-Tech more than what it seems Kind of Stupid and mostly insanely nonsense Only for Playtime Chemistry Set… ages 8 and up…" Raphael read from the cover of the box. Why did a Chemistry set have such a long name?

"WOW… I guess simple is no longer necessary…" Siegfried said as he captured a French fry and had it prisoner in a jail cell made out of bendy straws and duct tape. He was examining something while the French fry said he was not willing to talk and was not going to crack under the pressure.

"HELLO… I am trying to say that…" Mina kept trying and trying….

"Has anyone seen die Heinz…?" Sieg asked looking at the empty bottle.

"Last Time I saw Ketchup…- Answered Yoshimitsu…- It was on top of Seung Mina's head…" Siegfried looked at Mina very mad. His blue-green eyes shining with rage.

"Mina how inconsiderate of you… - Mina was going to defend herself…- Damn… now I need some Ketchup… and don't give me that Frechie's ketchup…" He said as he kept exploring the RV for Ketchup. There was a Priest French fry giving the last confession to the one in the jail cell.

"Use my AK-47…" Said Ivy handing him a weird thing that resembled a gun.

"How is this an AK-47, Ives?" He asked as he took prisoner the Priest fry.

"MERCY… I AM A FRY OF THE LORD…." Yelled the fry.

"I… need to tell you…" Mina tried once again. Let's face it, she is persistent.

"It's an AK-47 Sieg…- Ivy continued not paying attention to Seung Mina.- It's Armed with Ketchup… 47 individual ketchup 'bullets'… AK-47" Ivy said showing him a fancy ketchup pack… and it was Heinz.

"I like the way you think IVES…- He said turning to the fries with the super gun- SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND…" He said and fired at the fries and then took the fries covered in ketchup and proceeded to eat them.

"WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED…." Yelled the fries before taking the long road to the heaven of fries. To this point Mina was looking like a rabid dog.

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP SO I CAN SPEAK?" Mina Yelled pulling her rod out and threatening of death a few of the cast members of Soul Calibur and Link.

"Speak already Goddamn it… you are giving me a headache…" Raphael said as he rubbed his fingers on his forehead. Charade was so scared he was closed… and also being held by Cassandra so Lizardman wouldn't eat him.

"I was going to say that…" And Mina was interrupted by the Communication System.

"Hello guys…" Said Shady from her Shadowy shady spot of the Shadows of Doom.

"…The Shady one was here when you were running through the woods and it got mad…" Mina said with a frown sitting in a corner with the mother of all pouches.

"You should have said it earlier, women these days… they don't speak when they have to and then they ask for equality…" Heihachi said as he leaned back and all of the souls looked at him. He was right.

"Mina… you should have said something…" Said Yunsung.

"Yeah, Mina-sama… now we are in trouble…" Talim said looking at the Shady one.

"Ah… Whatever…" Mina said pretty pissed off.

"Well… Since you weren't here when I was going to assign you your next mission… I am contacting websites and newscast stations to start distributing your deepest darkest Secrets… CNN is interested… and so is Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood…" Shady said as it swirled in a chair. The cast members looked at Nightmare who was still in his Mafia mode. Nightmare looked at Mina.

"See what you have done you silly girl… Now we are severely fucked with the Shady…- He said leaning back like The Godfather.- You will sleep with the fishes…"

"But I…" She began.

"NO EXCUSE…" Said Raphael in his No escape tone and did his Swirly sword super French Flamenco style dance and looked at Mina over her shoulder.

"Ah… Go fuck yourselves… Bite me…" She said as she leaned back. Everyone felt the RV Stop and Shady told them to step out and as they were out there was a huge screen TV… more like an IMAX theater thing and there was shady.

"In today's challenge you will fight for your right of privacy and in the case I am not pleased one of the Members must leave the RV…" It said with a very maniacal laugh. It was more than obvious to the shaky souls that leaving the RV was going to be even worse than simply completing the task It would have for them. The thing with the cloak came out of the RV and walked them through a hall. They arrived at what seemed to be an abandoned Church where at least 100 people were peacefully having a chatter right in the middle of fucking nowhere and as soon as they saw the cast standing there… they just looked dead serious at them. The Cell Phone that was in the RV and which Talim had already clamed as hers started ringing. She picked it up to get a video stream from Shady.

"You have to perform for this people and it has to be a Soap Opera style thing… Each one of you has to at least say one line but not limited to that unless it is the lead… the lead needs to talk as much as it is required and keep the coherence of the play… if at the end someone has not fulfilled the requirement That's a DQ and someone must leave the RV…- The guys just looked at each other… There were Cameras around and they guessed they were for the shady one… it must have been loaded to move up such a staff and even audience..- The Theme of this Challenge named My Telemun-don't loose Novela is… Wedding… You have a hat there… draw the name of the lead and you have 3 minutes to start…" And the communication was off and the cast of SC was officially freaked out.

"I will pick the name…" Wrote Voldo and walked to the hat and stabbed randomly inside the hat and took out one single paper and brought it to Cervantes who was mixing concoctions in his long named chemistry set. Cervantes took off his black rubber gloves and took the name.

"Um… OH My… Siegfried… you are the lead…" He said showing the paper which read Siegfried Schtauffen AKA Nightmare… there was no way he could say it was not him the one being the lead.

"GOD DAMN IT…- He yelled and a huge gasp was heard in the place. Everyone looked at him… he was in a church.- OK… this is what we'll do… I am getting married to… Um… Taki…- Taki gasped and smiled widely- And the Wedding dude…" He was interrupted by Yoshimitsu.

"The Priest my child…"

"That thing… that will be… You Yoshi…- He said scratching his head.- The rest… just jump along… please people do this right…." He said thinking that with his lock he was the one that was going to end up kicked out of the RV. He walked to a corner where there were some props and handed Yoshi the Priest cloth and took a jacket that looked like a tuxedo and handed Taki a white robe.

"Ten seconds…" Yelled one of the cameramen and the audience went in silence. Nightmare walked to the place where he was supposed to be and Taki beside him with Yoshi.

"And… Action…" Yoshimitsu looked at the both of them which were almost breaking to laugher.

"So… If someone has a reason why this demon hunting ninja hottie shouldn't marry this Demon Warlord… Speak now or forever hold your peace…." Yoshi said.

"I OPOSSE…." Yelled Mitsurugi.

"Why?" Asked Nightmare.

"Because… Taki is a MAN…."He said as he pointed an accusing finger at Taki.

"I AM NOT…" She said.

"Yes you are… and you were going to marry me…" Said Cassandra fake-weeping…

"I oppose too…" Link said looking fierce. Everyone looked at him. He only Hya-ed till a few seconds ago.

"And your reason is…?" Asked Siegfried/nightmare.

"I cannot let the love of my life get Married…" He said twitching an ear.

"But… Link… Our thing didn't work out… -Taki continued.- You almost died because of me…" Taki said placing a hand on her forehead and looking dramatically arrested.

"Not you…. Lorenzo Antonio -He said at Taki giving her a novella name for a guy.-… the Love of my life is…. Siegfried…."

"WHAT?" Yelled everyone… even the audience.

"When I met the German Demon Warlord in the battlefield He kicked my ass and all I was telling him was that there was hot tea in the kettle….- he shed a tear.- So I learned the earthly language and came back for him…" Link said. Everyone looked at Sieg for guidance and he was about to break into laughter.

"It was … j-just a battlefield fling… besides he doesn't count… he's an alien…" Nightmare/Siegfried said biting his lips.

"But… what about our family? Meet your Son… Charade Schtauffen…" Link said carrying around Charade and Charade had his whiteboard.

"DADDY!" It read.

"YOU…" Yelled Taki.

"I also oppose…." Said Cervantes with his beakers and stuff.

"Why do you sir?" Asked Yoshimitsu.

"Because he is a failed experiment… whom my Evil Daughter handed to Darkness and that's why he is evil… he cannot love…" Cervy said as Ivy stood up.

"He can't marry you because he is supposed to be my Harem's consort Gentleman…" Ivy said as she had Yunsung on a leash.

"I NEED HELP… SHE IS A MAN EATING GODDESS…." Yunsung said as Ivy made him kneel. Then Sophitia came from nowhere pretending to be a ghost.

"He can't marry her because he promised me we would be together for eternity before I died… When Xianghua killed me!" She said… Nightmare looked at Sophitia and then at Xianghua… they were making things so hard for him to follow. Everyone was stuck in that one.

"YES… And I would do it again… She never gave me my bread…" Xianghua said as she leaned and looked evil for a second.

"But… I killed Seung Mina because I thought she killed you…" Sieg said trying to fit in someone else so they didn't loose a cast member. Seung Mina came out wiggling like a ghost too.

"Sophitia… my sworn Enemy… I shall hit you for eternity…" And Seung Mina started chasing Sophitia with the rod and hitting her, in revenge for the RV incident.

"Anyone else Opposes…?" Asked Yosh8imitsu sighing.

"I do…- Said Astaroth…- Because his pet Lizard Slaughtered My son Berserker and all his worms…" Astaroth said as he pointed at Berserker who was thrown in the floor.

"I am dead!" He said and laid back.

"Taki…. You cannot Marry this Demon Warlord…" Heihachi screamed as Taki looked at him.

"Why can't I? Father… right?" She asked wide eyed.

"Because… besides being a Man… you are Bethought to an arranged Marriage with this fair Maid…."He said pointing at Raphael.

"It was an arrangement made before we were born…" Said Raphael pretending a Girl's voice tone.

"It was an arrangement supposed to bring peace between two nations…" Said Heihachi looking at Nightmare totally confused. They were making the best effort to help him because he looked lost in translation. Besides he didn't watch Soap operas.

"I will kill you…." Said Kilik to Voldo.

"Me?- he said astonished…- Oh… Yeah… I will kill you too…" And Voldo and Kilik charged at each other and fell 'dead' in the floor.

"ROAR… FOOD!" Yelled Lizardman and pretended to eat from the dead.

"You were engaged? How could you lie to me…" Nightmare tried to continue.

"Master… She was lying to you… I shall kill her…" Said Spawn as he aimed at Taki.

"Please don't kill her… She is just a girl/boy…" Said Necrid being the Nana of Taki's youth. Sieg/Nighty was going to bust a gut trying not to laugh of the stupidity they were doing while the audience was laughing of them and not with them.

"I have come to finish this nonsense…." Said Assassin.

"About time…" Yoshi scuffed as he leaned back.

"Wait…- Said Talim wearing a Japanese school girl uniform.- He cannot be wed to Lorenzo Antonio alias Taki… He promised me we would be married when I was old enough while he was teaching me the way of the sword…I am a woman now Siegfried-sensei… I can marry you now…" Talim said with hopeful eyes. Everyone went in a what the fuck moment.

"Someone has a reason why they SHOULD be married…?" Asked Yoshimitsu as Assassin came forth.

"I have someone to bring reason… Come Mr. Maxi Schtauffen…. Siegfried's father…" And Maxi stood forward and Nightmare was biting his lips because his father was not a wimp and never said he was hot like Maxi always said.

"Son… what a mess have you created…. All this because I told you to get a turkey from the supermarket for our Thanksgiving dinner… What do you have to say in your defense…?" Maxi said as he looked fatherly at Nightmare who thought for a while, raised his head and looked at the ceiling of the church, them at all the others.

"CURSED BE MY WRETCHED MANLY BEAUTY…"He said as he closed his eyes took a stance of delight in himself and smiled sexily. They vowed and left for the RV while the audience laughed of the stupid but original display and the souls laughed their asses out because of Nightmare's Maxi attack.

Sometime later, in the RV… Shady logged to the souls.

"Well… You saved your asses… You are closer to the envelope and….- it said looking at Nightmare.- I like your wretched Manly beauty…" And it logged out.

"Siegfried-sama… that was good…" Said Talim showing him some pics.

"Yeah… Why didn't I think on something like that?" Said Assassin.

"Because you are not Hot like me you Gatsby wannabe…" Said Maxi with a lot of despair.

"Nope… it's because…. You are not German Like me…" Said Siegfried leaning back and enjoying the newly brought argument.

-EOT-

All Hail the Manly beauty…. I am sorry this is so stupid but I have been in one of those Final exams/ insane neurons off moment and this was what came out. I promise to bring something with much more sense next time… Now for the reviews:

To Kawaii Plushie Fetish: Um… Thanks again… I am not much of a fan of Seung Mina but not because of her fighting style… but because someone made her annoying for me… But thanks.. anyways she is in this chappie too…

To Fayes Love: Well… Keep coming back for insanity… though this chapter is not my pride and joy. Maybe if I go famous one day I'll see you around. Or fics about my work… Thanks for reviewing.

To Jadie-Chan: Gee Thanks… I haven't got to write cuteness yet. But I once wrote a cute fic named I'm under your Spell… Maybe I will re-post it. Maybe not… Thanks for reviewing…

To Dr. Wilopolis: Hehe… Updated…. Heinz rocks… LOL

To Rain54: Here was some more for you…. Thanks for the hint on Heihachi's name… I don't know much of Tekken and I only own the SC copy for XBOX… Thank you

To Evil dead Ownz you: Well… Thanks… most of my work makes no sense and just when you think it can start making sense… chapter five drops by… Thanks for the nice review

To Lysander: I don't know about that Hens' party…. Thanks for the hint on the game. But I hope you are happy about Link speaking here… Just for you Ly-chan

To Sir Dik Dik; Well Dude… I do what I can with mein head. I am glad you liked it and for a fact… U r updated from the other fic…. Need to write more Thanks for reviewing My Dear Sir Dik Dik

Well… That's it… thanks for coming and please… review. I will see how I make Chapter 6 make some damn sense… I leave you now… Toodles


	6. Musical Chairs

Hey…. I know it has been quite a while since I posted something, I apologize but a lot of personal problems and college had me in writing austerity. Hope you enjoy this chapter and saying that I don't own Soul Calibur in any of it's forms, I decree…. ON WITH THE SHOW!

Musical Chairs

It was about one in the morning and the RV was still moving, the caped thingy sure did like driving, either that or the RV had auto pilot or something of the sort. All the souls were cramped in a little corner getting some shut eye, which included Cervy hugging a beaker, Maxi his mirror and Charade was hugging his contact lenses case.

"Ok… Awkward…" Said a yawning Siegfried/Nightmare as he himself woke up from his little corner where he was falling into the arms of Morpheus and not precisely with blue or red pills as options. He tiptoed his way from within the pretzel of legs in the floor to the bathroom of the RV to tend some pending business but always staying within the rules of the RV for WC usage. As he came out sighing a relief, he saw the RV communication center go on and Shady was looking at him. Somehow it felt like a look.

"Siegfried…." Shady whispered. It was well aware of the state of everyone in the RV.

"Ja?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I am your father…." Shady said with a Darth Vader tone. Siegfried simply shook his head in denial.

"You know, I got slashed, ran my ass out through a God forsaken woodland of shit, had myself confused to levels yet to be known to mankind so if you have nothing important to say then allow me to go back to my cramped corner and keep my sleep while someone doesn't stick their toe inside my nose or something even worse…." Ragefuly ranted the Mini hottie. Shady giggled.

"Sassy aren't we? I'm kidding, I wanted to discuss something with you…"

"Make it snappy…" Siegfried said pretty cockily.

"Even when in our Telemun-don't challenge everyone got to stay you were responsible for everyone's ass and they almost lost because you couldn't follow up with what was going on…." In Nighty's head a lot of alarms went on. Maybe he shouldn't be mouthing out at the shady one.

'I'm gonna get kicked out and I am going to be thrown in jail, or even worse… My darkest secrets will be revealed, or even worse…. I will have to marry a man named Roger and be his bitch till Japan becomes a state of the US…. Or Germans stop drinking beer' He thought with his freaked out/straight face.

"…This is why I have decided to challenge you for your position in the RV…. If you can do this challenge… you get to stay… if not, you are ass-first out of the RV…. MWAHAHAHAHAHA….- Shady cleared it's throat…- I mean…. Mwahahahahaha….. I must not be loud…." It whispered as Voldo hissed in tiredness, rolled over and threw a leg around Link.

"How considerate of you…." Sieg scuffed.

"That's me… always caring about others…." Shady replied in fake self-praising.

"Right, You are the future Nobel Prize for peace and love and a few fluffy bunnies cuddly like clouds- Shady stopped twirling in its chair to be astonished at the smart mouth German-…. What's the catch…?" He asked sitting back and now munching from a can of Chips The Fries have retreated from their efforts at least as far as we are concerned. After all, Sieg ate at least 30 percent of their legions.

"Catch?" Asked Shady with a fake concern.

"There is always a catch…"

"Well… if you succeed you are trading your failure for a spot…. But obviously someone is going out of the RV…" Shady said as it played in the chair.

"So, someone gets to leave because of me…?" He said as he looked at the empty can of chips. Shady knew it had Sieg right where it wanted him.

"Unless you are willing to leave…."

"NO… what do I have to do…?" He finally decided to be in the good side of Shady.

"Simple…. When someone asks you something, answer with a song…. I don't mean that you answer in a melodic way, but to answer with popularly known songs… Just draw a paper from the box there and the name of the song is your answer…" Shady explained as Sieg's eyes grew wide with confusion. He looked to the side and there was the sinister box waiting to make him the asshole of the group.

"WHAT?"

"Yes or no Siegfried?" The enquired one simply sighed; it was either him or someone else. But he cared enough about his image to simply try to do as much as it was possible to keep his secrets as secret as possible.

"Ok… I'm in…." He said as Shady swirled of happiness.

"I will contact you when your task is over…." And it logged off. Siegfried Just sighed, now he was doomed to make a fool out of himself in order to not make a bigger fool of himself, what a conundrum. He decided to simply go to sleep.

In the morning, Cervantes was approaching Heihachi's hair with murderous desires or at least willing to collect a small sample for his experiments Heihachi on his side was simply willing to keep every strand of his gravity defying hair away from Cervantes and close to his scalp. High and tight, that's the way he liked his hair.

"When will Shady come up with a new Mission….?" Asked Cassandra as Link served her some flap Jacks.

"I don't know, but I am getting tired of this….- Said Yunsung….- Maybe we could sleep somewhere else than the RV tonight…. What do you think Nighty?" He asked as Nightmare was engulfing some of his breakfast. Without anyone noticing he pulled out a paper.

"It's fun to stay at the Y M C A….." He sang and kept eating. Ivy's eyes grew wide at him. Everyone simply sighed…. He was catching up to the insanity of the group. Talim smelled Shady in the answer so she pulled out her camera and started recording everything.

"I would much rather a hotel…." Said Assassin.

"You can stay even in the best hotel in the world and still you wouldn't be as Sexy as I am you Gatsby reject… because even when I am sexy and hot beyond human understanding I am approachable…. That's why you use that thing on your face… My beauty was too much for you to handle…." Maxi scuffed and Assassin simply growled underneath his turban.

"Stop it you dual browed bimbo….- Said Taki.- What's up with the grudge?"

"Grudges are fun…." Said Yunsung as he looked happy.

"Yunny…. Can you stop doing that thing?" Asked Sophitia while looking at him. The ass gifted boy simply looked numbly at her.

"What thing?"

"That thing that you do when you move your mouth and sound comes out of it…" Yunsung gasped, obviously offended, but then he saw Taki smile and grab a Flap Jack and there was the seizure again, this time it was Exorcist style, head spins and all. Maxi retired to a corner.

"Ah no, if you are planning to make your sick teen twisted version of the Exorcist, Vomit Assassin-wards…. I am too sexy to be covered in green goo…." Ivy drove a fist to the table and spilled the new brew Cervy was creating.

"You know, we got it, you are too sexy for everything…. Why aren't you too hot for breathing?" She asked as the Dandy Metrosexual looked at a magazine with jewelry.

"Because I can't live without it…. Air is my guilty pleasure…." Maxi said purchasing an engagement ring for himself. He was going to propose to himself as soon as he was out of the RV.

"Apparently thinking is also a guilty pleasure of his…" Whispered Mitsurugi.

"Indeed…." Answered Cervantes, Yoshimitsu, Kilik and Taki. A few chuckles were heard from Berserker and Astaroth that were playing cards in one of the 'corners' of the RV.

"Say, Siegfried….- Taki tried to bring reason back to the conversation, Siegfried was one of the most even headed ones.- It surely was a close call that challenge…- He who was called simply was in despair.- I feel a little scared now that Shady is gonna kick people out, how do you feel?" Sieg simply sighed and once again looked at the small paper on his hand…. Why was that happening to him?

"I'm SO EXCITED…. And I Just can't HIDE it…." He said as he blushed and drowned some of his flap jacks with some juice.

"Seriously Siegfried, you could at least pretend you care a bit about what happens to us….- Sophitia said a little annoyed.-We are practically a family, Why are you so hurtful to us? Why are you such a moron?" Asked the Greek older sister, dater of Squeakies and owner of 'squirrelly wraths' Sophitia style.

"Cause It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you…." He sang and Yunsung looked at him.

"But When we are apart I feel it too…." Yunny continued.

"And no matter what I do I feel the pain, with or without you…." Sang Kilik, Xianghua Maxi and Cassandra. Sieg simply sighed and closed his eyes in almost a doom look. They were enjoying his nice round of Musical chairs. 'All is lost, this is the end…there is no hope and despair is what follows this.' he thought while looking at them.

"Wow… That's a classic…." Said Talim as she filmed now Cervantes with Beaker tongs and finally retrieving a sample of Heihachi's hair. Then he put it in a CSI kind of envelope and sealed the evidence, Smiling Maniacally under his goggles, he acquired Mad scientist status in less than 3 seconds, and with ranking because it was Dead Purple Happy Pirate Mad Scientist…. Cervantes had as much title as his long named Chemistry set.

"Tell me about it…. It's like… Good times, good times indeed…." Yunsung replied as he leaned back and looked as if he had the remembrance of all the good times in the last century even when he was just 18 years old. Assassin then looked around from within the Safety of his turban, seeing they were still in the middle of fucking nowhere and with no signs of possible civilization within the next hours or so.

"Maxi…" He called.

"I am not listening to you Gatsby…."  
"Why are you doing this Maxi?" Asked the masked stranger very hurt.

"Because I can, because I am hot…." He started.

"WE FUCKING GOT IT ALREADY MAXI…. YOU ARE THE HOTTEST THING SINCE THE IRON CURL, BLOW DRYERS AND POP TARTS ALL WRAPPED UP IN A NICE HOT SAUNA…. QUIT IT…." Taki yelled and she made Yoshi loose his hat, Maxi simply sighed and took his diva stance once again. While looking out he saw a sign that read 'You are now leaving THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE' Raising one of his brows… maybe two of the four, he looked at the guys. Sieg was hiding behind a map.

"Hey, Teutonic dwarf…. Where are we?" Everyone gasped in fear. Sieg could easily devour Maxi and make it look like an accident. Sieg pulled his map down to the level of his eyes.

"Some-where O-ver the rainbow…. WAY up high…." He sang to then hide behind the map once again. Taki chuckled loudly.

"Wow…. That is quite a nasty sense of humor…. I am liking Kaiser Stiffy there in the corner…." She said as Sophitia stood up and looked at he whom she had slashed countless times before, all while Siegfried was looking numbly at Taki, Kaiser Stiffy, where did she come across such a thing?

"Well I don't…. –she then hit Siegfried in the head.- Stop it already will you?" Sieg dropped the map and stood before her. Looking at her straight into the eyes he got lost in the emptiness of them and Sophitia simply got scared to the bones with the naughty smile drawing on his lips.

"Hit me baby one more time…."

"Err…. No…." And Sophitia sat beside Cassandra who was learning Hyrulean from Link

"Hyaaa…." He said just to check if she had learnt something.

"Right you are my pointy eared freaky hunk, It is written in the law of life…."Cassandra replied as everyone looked at her. Whatever she was talking about, it surely was something that she needed to explain.

"Cass… In Human please…." Kilik asked as now Cervantes De Leon the mighty scientist joined them because his brewers and beakers were drying up for the next round of mad scientist mombo-jombo he had to do.

"There are things you shouldn't do to Germans, like… Call them Nazis. Say they bark when they are speaking to you in their mother tongue…- everyone nodded in agreement.- Hit them and in that line…. Leash them…." Link clapped because she understood what he said, the rest looked numbly, what the hell leashing and hitting a German had to do with anything?

"Cassy, sister dear, have you suffered any head injuries lately?" Sophitia asked her.

"That number should be counting the ones you inflict in her every time you fight her?" Asked Seung Mina having Yunsung nodding in agreement with her. Cassandra had a case of the knots and bolts all missing in the upper story, but at least she spoke Whoosh, Morse code for eyelids and was now learning Hyrulean. Sophitia seemed disturbed enough to stay quiet, to which Mina simply smiled in success; it was not easy to make a Blonde Greek Baker girl turned warrior shut up, but she did it.

A few minutes later, everyone was still absorbed in their own matters, including Maxi still 'Dissing' Assassin, Cervantes comparing samples of Heihachi's hair with those form Mitsurugi and the other two were plotting to take the long named chemistry set away from Cervy before it was too late. Ivy was hunting for ammo for her machine gun, in case the fries came back, and the rest were looking at whatever was happening around them. Siegfried, feeling happy that he was not asked anything else and that the attention of the world was not Sieggy/Nighty related, leaned back and continued to enjoy from the can of Pringles chips he was munching on last night when Shady called. With the crunch of the chip all the guys looked at him.

"Sieg…. Can you please share?" Asked Mina with all glowing eyes. Sieg looked at his hand and read the next song.

"Ma' goodies, Ma' goodies, ma' goodies oh not ma' goodies…." And he kept eating.

"We have it with the short, blonde, boobless and German version of Ciara….- Sophy said as she sighed more than loudly, Siegfried was getting on her nerves.- I thought he was done with that….Is my husband aware of how much I miss him?" Mina looked at her, she was married to a moron and glad to be away from him most times and the Bread Girl was sobbing because she missed her hubby. But since the one that got in her nerves the most was Siegfried…. Let Siegfried do her dirty work for her amusement. She plotted while smiling maniacally. Charade once again jumped into Cassy's arms after seeing the maniacal smile in Seung Mina.

"You hear that, Kick-ass, Sad Bad boy, Misunderstood Hottie….- Sieg enraged to unknown levels, not again that stupid name/stereotype.- Sophitia misses her hubby…. Isn't this sad?" Sieg looked at her with the corner of his eye, in a very ironical way and them pulled a paper and stood up in front of Sophitia.

"Don't cha wish your Husband was Hot like me….? Don't cha wish your husband was a Freak Like me…?- He sang making his biggest effort on shaking the ass.- Don't cha wish your Husband was fun like me….? Don't cha, baby…?" He sang and then sat down, Ivy's jaw was practically in the floor, Maxi was once again outdone by the Aryan hottie and Assassin was clapping for Sieggy's ass moving because it got on Maxi's nerves. Sophitia was wide eyed.

"He has a point you know Sis…." Cass said blushed as hell.

"I sure wish my husband had an ass like his…." Mina said day dreaming.

"Amen to that, Sister…." Replied Talim, Taki, Ivy and Xianghua.

"No I do not wish for that, and I am seriously going to murder you in painful ways if you keep this nonsense up, you hear?" Sophy replied a bit mad, they were in quite a mess and then Siegfried picked to be a jerk and do stupid stuff. She liked him better when he was an asshole.

"... SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING…. AH AH…. AH AH….." He replied with an ironical smile. He was neck deep in shit and with an angered Sophitia/part-time Voldo wannabe looking nastily at him, he was going to end up really injured.

"Why do you insist on doing this….?" She asked as the rest of the cast simply sat all together to enjoy the musical argument between the blondes.

"This is the battle of the blondes…. I think Sophitia will win…." Mina said leaning back and making a space for Talim and her camera.

"Wanna put your money where your mouth is Rod Girl?" Ivy asked quite relaxed. She knew Siegfried could get into anyone's nerves when he wanted to and now it seemed he was more than willing to piss Sophitia off.

"You are on Ives…." Mina answered shaking hands with Ivy and sealing a bet.

"Because….- Answered Sieg.- I'm…- Sophitia thought he was going to answer in a decent way.- Lonely…. I am so Lonely…. I have nobody of my own…." Sophitia squeezed her fists tightly, she was pretty upset.

"Wow…. I have never seen that child so red…." Yoshi commented as he looked at Cervy making notes on the redness of Sophitia for his next experiment.

"Indeed…." He said as he looked at how Sophitia was beginning to glow in a demonic red shade.

"Siegfried Schtauffen you are a pain in the ass, Why don't you shut up already?" She scuffed as he backed a bit from her and closer to the door, if he had to dash out, he was not loosing time in running.

"Why don't you do something…." He sang in reply and Sophitia punched the door of the RV's bathroom.

"I have had it with you Britney Spaz…. I'll be in the cockpit if anyone needs me…." And she left stomping her feel. Siegfried sighed a relief and sat down, Mina was paying her dues to Ivy and Cassandra was laughing her ass out.

"You…. Actually made her…. Leave and shut the fuck up…- Link said quite surprised.- What do you say about that….?" Siegfried was about to cry, he had lost the respect he have earned form his comrades and was looking goofier than a teenage class clown.

"Go Siegfried… it's my birthday, we're gonna party like it's my birthday, we're gonna sip Bacardi like it's my birthday, and you know I don't give a Fuck it's not my birthday." He answered and Link simply looked wide eyed at him.

"Right on German boy, that's the attitude…." He said as he leaned back feeling a new found admiration for the German Shorty. Sieg sighed, at least one person was enjoying the whole thing. Maxi felt like he was being robbed of the spotlight and came in defense of his Divaness… I mean, of Sophthia's honor.

"Who the hell do you think you are Man, to do something like that to her….?" He asked holding the 'and to me?' part of the question. Siegfried looked once again to his hand.

"THEY CALL ME CUBAN PETE, I'M THE KING OF THE RUMBA BEAT… WHEN I PLAY THE MARACAS THEY GO CHIK CHIKI BUM CHIK CHIKI BUM CHIK CHIKI BUM…." He sang the stupid song from the 'The Mask' movie. Talim began laughing, imagining Sieggy with Maracas and dancing rumba. The rest were plainly blinking at him. And then the Shady Wireless System came up and there it was looking at them. Sophitia came out because Yoshi called on her to come hear the Shady.

"Well done Mr. Manly Beauty…. You pass the test…." Shady said still laughing.

"IT WAS A TEST?" All the others but Talim yelled.

"Wasn't it a little obvious…." Talim said with a sigh.

"Well, now that you think about it…. It is obvious that Siegfried wouldn't do something like that on his own will…." Yunsung said still pondering on the idea on why didn't he think about that before. Siegfried was a ball of malevolence in a corner…. He was out of that stupid test and he could go back to being his old naturally sarcastic self.

"So, what did he win?" Asked Taki sitting beside Siegfried and taking some of the chips from his can of Pringles.

"He won his right to keep his secrets secret…. And one of you lost theirs…." All the others looked at each other and then at him who was smiling like a dork.

"WHOOOSH?" Asked Voldo very worried.

"What did he say?" Asked Shady.

"He asked if one of us is going to get kicked out of the RV?" Cassandra translated and looked at Charade climbing on top of the table where Lizardman couldn't eat him.

"That is basically the premise of this..." Shady answered.

"Ok, then who goes, Assassin?" Maxi pointed at the poor thing who looked wide eyed at him from underneath his face veil.

"I thought on kicking you out…- Shady began…- But I love to see you mad at Assassin. Then I thought on booting off Sophitia for talking about Squeaky and one of the dirty little secrets I have on her….- Sophitia sighed, because Squeaky was only one of the secrets the Shady had on her.- But I have way more dirt on her…. Then I thought on booting Seung Mina, but we cannot do that can we….?" Shady said suspiciously.

"Err…. No… we cannot…." Mina said quite scared.

"And in the end… I decided that the one who gets to leave is…. Berserker…. Because we are spending too much money in Gasoline carrying him and Astaroth around, both of you are really heavy…." Astaroth felt offended with the reference to his weight, the RV Stopped and a lot of commandos entered and pulled Berserker out.

"Next time it could be you… or you…. Or… YOU….- Shady said pointing at random souls.- See you soon…." And the communication was over. Everyone looked astonished at Siegfried.

"You should have said something man…." Sophitia began.

"I'm not in the mood for speaking…." And he turned around and kept watch in case the fries came back because he was damn hungry and the fries tasted good.

"This is turning quite interesting…." Taki said as she looked at Astaroth doing sit ups. Maybe the next time he was not going to get voted off because of his weight. But they were sure that now the Shady one could be testing them even when they didn't know, that and that Sophitia had way more secrets than the embarrassing date with Squeaky.

Random Pigtails Girl Pops out of nowhere again.

"Isn't it obvious that she has way more dirt within her fingernails? Damn you writers are so stupid, that's why you will never sell a book…." And she gets dragged away by the commando squad.

EOT

Well, that was chapter 6, I hope you enjoyed it… Now for the reviews….

Fayes Love: Insane greatness? I like that…. Thanks for saying I rock, I do what I can, btw, your review reminded me that I needed to update…. Thanks….

druid178: Thank you… I try as much as I can to deliver hilarious entertainment

Church of Fucking doom/Sir-dik: Thanks to my favorite pair of Europeans…. Sorry for the austerity…. The crisis goes to unknown levels, but I hope to come back to the level of writing I had before.

De. Willopolis: I Hope you enjoyed this one, thanks for the review.

Rain54: Sorry for the delay, and the Manly beauty Shall live…. As expected, reasons to get booted off are as insane as my wormhole for mind…. Thanks for reviewing.

ApoloIV: Thanks….

Once again I apologize for the delay and asure you more will come in the near future… DAMN YOU COLLEGE…. Please review…. And Auf Wiedersehen


	7. Slice and Dice: The Ghetto Showdown

Whoa…. Lady Manson here wishing you all my beloved readers a decent year, one in which you have strength to deal with your enemies and the power to destroy those with which you cannot cope. I don't wish for happy years because I believe you all need a bit more of patience and life is bearable. With that said…. I don't own Soul Calibur in any of its forms…. On with the SHOW!

Slice and Dice: The ghetto Showdown

After Siegfried's jukeboxing event, everyone was quite traumatized. Sophitia was trying to regain access to her most obscure and darkest thoughts to see if she at least could remember what other secrets beside the Squeaky incident she needed to recoil. Bad part is that the Shady one already had access to them so she was a step behind in the whole matter, that is not counting that Sieggy's version of Soul Train was still messing with her neurons.

"It seems we are not going to get out of this one in one piece…. Why don't we just reveal our dark secrets?" Yunsung asked.

"Are you insane, you Manic Panic reject…?" Maxi questioned the boy who looked at him wide eyed.

"I do not use Manic Panic hair dye, for the last time…"

"How do you explain that sometimes your hair is brown and others fiery red? You want to be as hot as me and therefore dye your hair the color of fire?" Needless to say, after two days of stress, the souls were just a bit edgy, a bit… no more than that. It was not as I if they were going to kill each other.

"N-no…." Yunsung replied quite scared. He did not have a logical explanation for that. He basically never gave it any thought.

"… Because you better not be trying to look sexier than me…" Maxi warned the sexy teen warrior with raging Horny-mones, the name this writer designated to hormones.

"W-why are you snapping on me you fruit loop? Nobody asks you about why sometimes you are blonde and others black haired, or questions Cervantes about his choice of underwear…. – Yunsung built a logic answer to his eyes and as he spoke he defended his honor.- …Or even bothers to understand how Sieg Diddy knows so much about music if he is always locked in solitude…" Siegfried lifted his head from the couch where he was sitting and looked at Yunsung. He turned off the Ipod he had on hand to listen to whatever was going on. Ivy looked at him wondering where did he get the Ipod in the first place.

"Sieg Diddy….?" He asked with a disturbed expression and a raised brow.

"Solitude….?" Talim repeated.

"Does he even know the meaning of that?" Astaroth mumbled to Lizardman who was licking Charade.

"W… well…. I…. I AM SEXY…. THAT IS WHY…." Maxi defended himself. In his Maxi colored world, his sexiness was the reason for mankind's existence.

"Shut yer' trap already you Nature defying bimbo…." Taki yelled rubbing her fingers on her forehead. They started bickering and she could foresee the outcome based on her migraine.

"Gasp…. I am offended…" And that was enough to shut Maxi up for a while.

"Why do you offend Maxi?" Assassin came out to defend Maxi and attacked Taki.

"Why do you even defend Maxi….? He hates your guts…." She replied.

"He doesn't hate me…. He just has… Tough Love towards me…"

"Dear God Assassin, you are even worse that Yunsung…." Taki continued while rolling her eyes. It was just not right to have an airhead narcissistic sailor and a masked weirdo under a turban biting each other's heads off and then teaming up against her. What she didn't plan for was to drag someone else to the 'friendly' conversation.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Yunsung defended himself in a sort of stupid way.

"What do you think it means, Blood berry?"

"DON'T YELL AT YUNNY…" Mina came out on the defense of the boy of her hometown.

"I AM NOT YELLING AT YUNNY, MINA…."

"Don't call me Yunny, Seung Mina…. I don't need you to defend me…." Yunsung argued with Mina who gasped, she didn't come out on his defense for him to treat her like that.

"Well you can certainly not defend yourself…."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked again, Cassandra stood up while Charade rolled his eye, well, rolled around is more accurate.

"In words you can understand…. She thinks you are a moron…. – Cassandra spoke slowly so Yunsung could understand what she meant by that. - You are lacking in the IQ department…. Need me to draw a picture for you?"

"Fuck you Cassandra, I am not the one that talks to ghosts…." Yunsung countered her witty remark.

"I don't talk to Ghosts You ass-wipe… I talk to Charade, Link and Voldo…. Cervantes is the putrid undead here…." Cass said as she pointed at Cervantes who stopped curling his mustache because his name was drawn into the fight.

"I am NOT Putrid you bread girl…."

"Stop insulting my sister you Zombie pirate…." Sophitia came out to the defense of her little sister.

"Zombie…?" Cervy had wide eyes all dedicated to her then looked at Ivy for support and to defend her father but Ivy was comfortably sitting beside Talim, Link and Siegfried and she totally ignored him. As long as she kept herself away from the argument they wouldn't drag her into it and she would not need to kill anyone.

"I don't need you to help me Sophitia, I can insult people on my own…"

"Like that is ever going to happen, Sis…." Cassandra crunched her teeth as she was now being attacked by her own sister. Link stood up and tried to call the attention of everyone in the RV. But when you have a bunch of infuriated warriors, something is sure to backfire/\.

"This is leading us nowhere…." He called them to their senses.

"NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION YOU HYRULEAN HE-BITCH…." Everyone yelled back at him and he sat back beside Siegfried, Talim and Ivy.

"Wh-what's a he-bitch…?" He pondered with a concerned face.

"Well this is certainly uncalled for…" Ivy remarked as Siegfried handed her a bag of Lays Chips… the Pringles were long gone.

"Indeed…." Siegfried said as he ate a few of the chips while he saw Xinaghua approach the fiery pits of argument. That was the best entertainment he have had in a long time.

"What is going on here?"

"What Xianghua are you blind? Or deaf? Or both? Or Stupid?"

"All of the above…." Siegfried whispered so they didn't know it was him.

"H-hey…." Chia looked around seeking the source of that nasty quote.

"We are arguing… Need a map?" Cassandra yelled at her. Xianghua was obviously offended, yet Maxi was still quiet.

"Well beware of Cassandra the Multitasking GPS… Maps, IQ Tests…. What's next… Cabaret dancing?" Sophitia kept arguing with her sister as if Xianghua was never insulted.

"What is wrong with you Sophitia…? If you need to hump someone, Sieggy was the one saying he was hotter than your husband, which is true… Take that Male-ho' and do your Thang" Cassandra said pointing at Siegfried who was eating chips and simply raised a brow.

"Male-ho'…?" Link asked looking at he who was insulted and didn't seem disturbed at all.

"I'm another He-bitch…" Siegfried answered with the most passive of tones. Talim looked at him with a raised brow. What was up with him? In any other case he would have dived head first into the argument. But, maybe the levels of Testosterone were already at peaking dangerous ranges now that almost everyone was yelling at someone.

"Oh…" Link replied with an understanding face. Ivy was counting the seconds until Siegfried blew with one of those sexy, sassy and deep accented outbursts of his.

"What are you implying….? That I am Horny and that's why I am cranky?" Sophitia placed a hand on her chest, overwhelmed by wrathful concern.

"Indeed…" Siegfried whispered as a few chuckles escaped his partners on the non-argumentative section.

"No… I only say that you need as much sex as Cervy's Chemistry set has words on it's name…" Cassandra replied to her sister.

"That's quite a lot…" Talim commented.

"Low blow…" Ivy said with a tone of one of those sports announcers that annoys the shit out of anyone who is seriously into whatever game it is they are watching.

"Indeed" Sieggy said again.

"You are funny…" Link whispered at him.

"Danke Schön…"

"Bitte sehr…" The other one replied. Sieg Diddy was glad someone had manners to be polite around the RV. He sure was having a kick ass time watching everyone ripping each other apart for his amusement.

"Hey… Cass, don't mix my serious Research on Mitsurugi and Heihachi's hair into yer' mundane arguments on procreation…. Yarg…." Cervy defended his Mad Scientist Happy Purple Dead Pirate honor. Sieg looked to the side as Cervy was arguing to fetch a juice from the fridge for him and his homeboys on the sofa when he saw Shady on the screen 'looking' at him.

"Hey there…" It said with a happy tone.

"Guten…" He replied.

"What's going on?"

"The closeness has gotten to their nerves…" Talim explained as she was handed a Coke and asked to pass a glass of wine to Ivy. The Dominatrix watch heated arguments in style.

"This is pretty heated up…." Shady pointed out looking at the ball of rabid souls almost killing each other. That is not counting that for some reason yet to be known by mankind and this writer Astaroth was sound asleep through the course of the argument. He sure had a deep sleep.

"Indeed…." Sieggy replied to Shady.

"MAXI DOESN'T HATE ME…" Assassin continued

"Um… Guys…" Talim called, maybe Shady had a mission for them.

"HE DOES HATE YOU. HE HATES YOU AND YOUR STUPID TURBAN MORE THAN HE HATES PARIS HILTON FOR STEALING HIS SPOTLIGHT ON HOTNESS…" Yunsung yelled at him as if it was common knowledge,

"M… Maxi?" Assassin looked at Maxi with a heartbreaking glance.

"…" Maxi simply said nothing, he was not going to reply to that Gatsby wannabe.

"Aren't you going to argue?" Shady asked Siegfried.

"I am so mad… Argue Argue…" He said unemotionally.

"Insult, insult…. How dare you, Male-ho'?" Link continued.

"I am so offended… Weep weep, tear tear…" Siegfried replied with his now usual unemotional state.

"There…. We argued…" Link said with a smile.

"Indeed…" Guess who said that? Yes indeedy it was Sieg Diddy.

"You guys are unbelievable…" Ivy said rolling her eyes while Shady seemed pleased with their reenactment of a heated argument without the heat or the arguing.

"What Have I done to you Maxi? Was it the belly dancer I sent to you in your birthday?" Assassin kept questioning Maxi who was silent like a grave.

"How can it be fucking possible that you yank people's hairs out of their heads, you walking Bio-hazard? Don't you know how much that hurts?" Maxy and Heihachi defended their fallen follicles.

"NO… I am dead… I don't feel pain…." Cervy said as if it was more than obvious and then to reinforce it he yanked his own hair and tore it off. The two hair-raising warriors left completely grossed out and scared to death of Cervy the mighty who yanked his own hair with a smile.

"You know, I don't need this…. The only reason why you got married was because you thought you were pregnant…." Taki yelled at Sophitia who gasped in horror.

"Oh' no she di'n't…." Talim said in a ghetto tone.

"Oh yeah She Did…." Ivy replied.

"Indeed…" OH come on… you know who said that, don't you? Very good… here's a cookie. Shady broke into laughter, Siegfried's 'Indeed' was like the one liner that gets to people's nerves, like the 'I'm too sexy for…'

"Pregnant….?" Xianghua asked, not believing her ears.

"Sister?" Cassandra was stupefied. Shady sighed, there went another secret that it had on Sophitia, blown out of someone's mouth.

"WHOOSH (Awesome… Who knew?)"

"Guys…." Talim called. Everyone started backing up, there was going to be a catfight on the RV and judging by the slashes Sophitia threw at Siegfried, there were bound to be spleens and guts in every corner if they didn't take a distance.

"I'm gonna hit you so Hard, your grandchildren will be bruisin'…. Foo' " Sophitia said with pulsating veins on her temples. Taki took offense to herself and placed her hand on her cleavage, Yunsung was one of the most pleased ones.

"Oh Ma' Gawd…. It's about to get paramedical up in her'…" Taki said leaning like one of those ghetto guys with pride. There is no other word known to this writer that can convey the pride of someone from the ghetto.

"It's on, bring It SISTA'…" Taki excited Sophitia's happy-Rage levels to chronically boiling rage point.

"I already Brought it, Nudist ho'…"

"Dear Lord…." Talim shook her head in denial.

"Indeed." Sieg said as he was delighting on the violence that was about to take place. Then his shoulder was tapped and he looked back seeing an army of French Fires standing behind him on war chariots made of biggie fries containers and dressed like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, with fry kilts and all.

"We have come for our Revenge, Vive La FRANCE…" They yelled at him.

"Not now guys…. This is getting good…." Ivy shh-ed the fries. Sieg looked at them with murderous desires. Time for them to meet him, The Valkirye of Fries, and time for them to join their friends in the French Fry Valhalla, conveniently located in his tummy.

"Snacks…." And he grabbed them all.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS…" And then they perished under the merciless bite of the hungry Aryan, now Happy Aryan.

"You ate them… yet again…" Talim looked at him very disappointed.

"You are Hopeless you know…" Shady said with an ironic tone.

"Those are going to go straight to your thighs…" Ivy pointed out, just to see if he will get concerned about his physique. He grabbed her hand and placed it on his thighs; they were rock hard, not one gram of fat, less than the fat on a Subway sandwich.

"That's hot…." She said with a wide smile.

"Indeed…." Link was tired of trying to make everyone look at Shady.

"They don't listen to me…. Do something Sieg Diddy Male-ho' you…." He asked for help from the Kaiser of insanity/ Valkirye of Fries.

"You Guys…." He called more than calmly.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU GERMAN MIDGET…." They all yelled at him. Everyone was expecting him to take Soul Edge out of nowhere and behead a few souls, just for the sake of old times.

"Ouch…" He just said as he watched the argument resume. He saw Sophitia trying to attack Taki but it seemed Sophitia was only proficient on the style of girly girl fighting; hair yanking and the infamous finger claw slash slash.

"Ah Hell no, you ain't coming to me with your Sissy White chick nail polished Skank-Fu…" Taki smirked making Sophitia feel very, very stupid.

"Skank-Fu…?" Asked Link.

"This is just too weird…" Shady whispered, It never knew there was something named Skank-Fu. It knew about Tae Queer Do because of that movie with Rob Schneider, but Skank-Fu was even a word, or combination of words.

"Indeed…." Sieg said with a smile. The two fighters looked at him with murderous desires.

"You are cranping ma' style boy… say whatcha gotta say already and let me go Ghetto on Taki's ass…" Sophitia said as Taki looked at her with a face of 'You Wish.'

"Ok… 'homey' Shady is here…." Sieg tried his best with the slang thing. All the Souls went to graveyard silence in record time. It was as if nothing had happened.

"Why Thank you Mr. Wretched Manly Beauty…. You bootylicious German you…" Shady praised the sexy Valkirye.

"Alas…. The bickering is over…" He replied with a despair-filled glance. Yunsung looked at him wide eyed.

"Sieg…. What is that supposed to mean…?"

"Not again…" Cassandra shook her head in denial.

"Aye me… This is the winter of mine discontempt…." He said quoting Shakespeare.

"I seriously was going to give you a challenge but this bickering and being at each others throats was way better – Shady tried to stay serious -… and I mean…. WAY, WAY better… But for one of you…. This is Indeed the winter of your discontempt…. Someone's gotta go…" All the souls remained expectant of whichever name it was going to disclose. Taki prayed for it to be Sophitia, Maxi for Assassin and vise versa.

"I gotta…. Is it psychic or something?" Xianghua said pretty determined.

"But… Miss. Xianghua…." Shady couldn't understand why she wanted to be eliminated from the RV and her secrets revealed.

"I gotta go real bad…." Then Shady thought maybe she misunderstood what it said.

"B-but…"

"May I please go wee wee….? Seriously…" Xianghua had her hands in a position that meant she was trying to hold it in as much as possible but she needed to go.

"Dear God Xianghua… we don't need to know about your bodily fluids…" Taki argued.

"Knock yourself out Mei Ling…" Shady allowed Xianghua out of the room.

"My name is Chia Xianghua…."

"Whatever…" And Xianghua left.

"Mei Ling?" Asked Link to Siegfried, he was the all knowing, Shakespeare quoting German.

"Me love you long time… Suki Suki, five dollah'…" He said with a very fake Asian tone.

"Siegfried…. You are so mean…" Ivy said laughing, if she was right, she had seen that in one movie or two.

"Indeed…" He said with a smile.

"Stop that already… It is getting old…" Sophitia requested him.

"Indeed…." He said trying to get to her nerves, since he was in her annoying list at position number one.

"Siegfried, knock it off already it is annoying…"

"Indeed…." He continued.

"Does she like arguing with him?" Kilik asked as he finally got to talk in this chapter, I mean… eh… um… he was in the cockpit all that time.

"I think it is a requirement to graduate Baker's school…." Yoshimitsu, who… also was in the cockpit said. Voldo hissed in happiness because it was funny to see Sophitia blow a fuse or two… or twelve.

"Indeed…" Siegfried said to Yoshimitsu.

"Stop it with the INDEED ALREADY!"

"Indeed, Indeed, Indeed, Indeed… I.N.D.E.E.D…. INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED…." He was not going to stop, no matter what, until she was mad.

"Zeus, give me strength…." Sophitia sat back with a sigh.

"I cannot even make a choice…. I'll see you later with something else…. Bye Male-ho' bye He-bitch… Nice seeing you…" And Shady logged off laughing it's shadowy ass off.

"Indeed…." Sieg said with a happy nod.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH…." Sophitia stood up and was going to storm to the back of the RV but Xianghua opened the bathroom's door and knocked the daylights out of her. She fell flat on the floor.

"Now that was funny…" Mina said laughing her ass out of how Sophitia fell.

"Indeed…."

EOT-

Hey, I hope you liked this…. I apologize for the delay but I was busy with personal problems…. But never mind me…. Here for the Reviews… Indeed….

To Dread Pirate: Here you go… I serve you more and there is absolutely more from whence that came… LOL, Thanks for the review and welcome to my little dark corner

To Nicktendonick: Why thank you so much, I do what I can and believe me, sometimes it takes a little extra sarcasm but…. It's all good to please you guys.

To Dr. Willopollis: Shinobi style reviews… I love your reviews Dr. D… Thanks for all

To Fayes Love: Yes, my mayor is English…. Indeed…. Who knows, maybe one day I will end up teaching one of you guys… That would be weird, I am so happy to know that you like it and consider me insanely fun… LOL… I know, some of my friends think so, my ex best friend used to love it… -Sigh- anyhow, I love music… thus the weird chapter, but I will keep writing for you, pinky swear. Thanks for the review.

To the-everglow: Arigato ne…. Here, have some more… and beware of the French Fry Mafia…. Thanks for reviewing.

To Rain54: I know I am evil, but that's just me… LOL, There are way more secrets I can only say they are earth-shaking events…. Thanks for the review.

To Apollo IV: Sorry to hear about your writer's block and thank you for your kind words. I did not have a writer's block though, I was just depressed…. But I cannot Wallow in my despair forever, quoting Cervy there…. Love the new name and my salutations to Sir Dik Dik….

And now I retire to my dark cave to produce more material for my Lit Professors, for my German Professor and for you my loyal readers which I would hug personally but I am way too far… It seems the position of Sexy German Boy Toy is open again so, applicants should be German and be willing to be my boy toy/object of desire…. Just random closures by yours Truly, Lady Manson…. Auf Wiedersen, Bis the next Chappie…


End file.
